HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What do you know about mindset and what kind of mindset do you think you have? Are you mostly a positive person, always looking for the good side in every situation? Or do you take things negatively, falling at the first hurdle?

Whatever your personality is, your mindset is that supernatural force, the most powerful one that will drive you at every moment of your way. It is your daily fuel, that boundless energy that will determine your own perception and vision of life, based on your beliefs system and on your personal experiences.

But let us now have a look at how our past influences our mindset and our worldview.

What happens in our brain when we absorb our very first information in the childhood?

The early years of a child from 2 to 8 are crucial for the brain’s development, especially at the age of 3. This is when the main architecture of our brain is formed, laying the foundation of our future, and influencing the way we will function later in life.

As you may be aware, children have the capability of absorbing information very easily, with the consequence of developing a sense of being that will mostly be impacted by what they stored during the childhood.

Everything that they consistently experience throughout their early years moulds their vision of themselves and of the rest of the world, structuring their beliefs system.

For instance, if someone is constantly treated with respect, his/her inner belief will be that he/she will give value to him/herself, same for who is continuously put down, starting to think and acting like someone who is worthless and does not deserve happiness.

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Over time, these beliefs get stored in our subconscious mind, where is located our long-term memory, guiding the path of our life without us even realising it.

That is when we start to develop our own mindset, that will impact our way of thinking, our feelings and behaviours, our whole concept of life and our assumptions, consequently determining our approach to daily challenges, changes and difficult situations, our personal success, and our relationships with people.

It is all about mindset. As you know, life is unpredictable and it might surprise you at any moment, testing your abilities to adapt to changes and to the most unexpected situations. There is no perfect time; we all have our ups and downs, bad and good days, like there are no rainbows without any storms. What does really matter is how you approach the external circumstances and how you will face every new challenge with positivity and persistence.

It is important to acknowledge that the quality of our life does all depend on us and on our willingness to react to the circumstances in the right way. We can be positive despite the difficulties that we meet every day and win every single battle that will come across our path, or we can end up overwhelmed at the first occasion, letting day-to-day problems controlling our emotional and physical state. The choice is only ours.

There are two main different types of mindset that shape our lives: the Fixed and the Growth one.

“A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.”  As mentioned by Carol Dweck, psychologist at Stanford University of California, in of her most remarkably masterpieces Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.  

If you find yourself having a Fixed Mindset, it is most likely that you will indulge into your comfort zone, sensing everything that is new and that differs from your usual habits as a sort of threat; by contrast, your Growth Mindset will take you places you have not explored yet, always discovering new skills you were not even aware of. This will also have a significant impact on your whole personality and propension to react to changes.

But is it possible to develop a different mindset throughout our life despite our natural tendency?

Indeed, it is. And I am going to tell you why.

Thanks to Neuroplasticity, it has been scientifically proven that the human brain has a huge capability of flexibility and reorganization because of individual neuron pathways making new connections and to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.

This is an incredible discovery as it means that if you are no longer satisfied with your current life and you would like to achieve better results you can work on restructuring your beliefs system, adopting a completely new vision and approach to a better future.

The first thing, and the most important one that you should do is to increase your awareness, understanding that each external event is not the reason for your personal dissatisfaction and for your unhappiness: your mindset is! And if you will switch your energy into a more positive one, adopting a Growth Mindset, your whole life will turn into an ocean of possibilities and successes. No matter the obstacles that will stand in your way and how many stumbling blocks you will encounter along your path; you will not lose your drive and that motivation that brought you here. Actually, you will accept each new opportunity to keep learning new things, constantly expanding your level of knowledge and your ability to overcome the difficulties.

Mindset
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You will no longer feel overloaded or under pressure and you will take everything with more ease.

I have learnt at my expenses that I cannot limit myself for fear of making mistakes and that it is never too late to develop new skills and increase my level of education. I have learnt that if I start my day with a ‘can do’ attitude I will have more chances to achieve the goals that I have previously set, instead of doubting and underestimating myself. And I have also realised that if I look at the good aspect of things, I will approach each new challenge in the right way, feeling mentally and physically healthier.

We are what we think. It is not just a figure of speech. It is a state of mind.

THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

So often we read and hear coaches and public speakers talking about success and the importance of being successful in life.

But what is your definition of success? And what are your feelings and the first thoughts that come up to your mind when you encounter this word and start visualising your personal goals?

I have always thought that, to be successful, I had to be physically attractive, cool and friendly enough to be the one that everyone wants to hang out with, but also smart and educated to make my parents proud of me for my good marks at school and my achievements in my career.

I have always felt the need to prove to myself and to others that I was capable and good at something, most probably because of my own weaknesses and insecurities. Long story short, I ended up believing that being good was not enough anymore, and that, instead, I had to be exceptional to guarantee a prosperous future, not only for myself, but also for my family.

Coming from a humble background, I have had to fight for my dreams. I have had to give up many things, thus I became money-oriented as a consequence of it.

The fact is that we live in a society that constantly confronts us with a harsh reality that makes us believe that we have to be always on top, like some sort of robots that should just produce and consume.

Surely, a wealthy lifestyle makes you live better, but is this really what would make you happy? Is it what you want?

It took me a while to realise that money is not everything, and that my own happiness does not depend on my monthly income and on how much I have in my saving accounts.

Life is much more valuable than that, and so are you.

And if you invest your time focusing exclusively on your future, you will end up being perpetually unsatisfied and unhappy. This will lead you to experience stress and anxiety.

And what for? Is it really worthy if you then become unable to enjoy the present moment?

You Matter
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Why am I talking about this right now and isn’t this principle in contradiction with most models of reality and concepts that we get every day from society?

Well, I am not saying that you should settle down and stop setting goals. It’s a great thing to be driven, trust me.

What I am trying to do instead, is to encourage you to think about what really matters for yourself, focusing for a moment on your scale of values.

What is more important for you? It may be love, it may be your health, or either your career progression or your family. Only you should know the answer to this question.

If you don’t, it might be that at some point in your life, you will be hit by a river in flood that will force you to have a break. And only then, when you won’t have any other excuse, you will disconnect from the rest of the world and concentrate on yourself, realising that what you have always considered crucial was not so essential as you thought.

Because, believe it or not, the more you will move forward, the less you will be able to celebrate your achievements if you do not enjoy the present, starting to appreciate the little things around you.

I have learned the hard way that my own happiness cannot be measured, and neither my personal life and my freedom. And that I can only be successful if I am happy within myself. Everything comes afterwards.

Thus, you will be able to define your meaning of success once you have a clear vision of your values, and then moving forward to your targets.

My advice to you is: be grateful for what you already have, live every second to the fullest because time does not go back, open up to other’s visions, but do not let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Because only you should know what is more relevant for you and who you want to be in the future in order to be successful.  

Freedom
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