7 REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BREAK THE STIGMA OF MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS

We have been reading about stigma of mental health conditions quite often nowadays. 

People are frustrated and exhausted; they are tired of having to keep hiding their own feelings and emotions in a society that is consuming us every day more.

There is an even stronger need of confrontation and support right now, after all the uncertainty and the big changes that the pandemic has involved in many sectors of our everyday life. 

But what is exactly a ‘stigma’ and how it affects our mental and physical wellbeing?

A stigma is a sign of unacceptability, the shame or disgraced attached to something defined as ‘socially inadmissible’. 

My question to this form of prejudice that has been happening from a lifetime is:

When are we going to reach parity in treating mental health and physical health? 

There is much talk about it, but only a few facts and little concrete actions, in fact recent studies on mental health statistics in the UK have proven that only a 36.2% of people suffering from a mental health disease get treated for it.  

And do you know why this happens? Some people take longer to realise the stage of their psychological conditions, others believe that they can handle their personal problems on their own, however the main reason of it is due to an excessive worry of social contexts and people’s assumptions – how shameful!

We live in the 21st Century and we still have to face and tolerate the hypocrisy and the abuses from those who take freedom to bully and to marginalise the weakest ones for the sheer pleasure of feeling powerful and almighty.

Stop Bullying
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This is unbearable if you think about those suffering from any other physical illness, like diabetes, cancer, chronic or heart disease, and how these cases are fairly considered by society.

Nevertheless, there are still countless ‘silent diseases’, such as anxiety, panic disorders, phobias, PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD and many others which are still identified as ‘less serious’ or, even worse, described with a derogatory language.

This is extremely alarming knowing the immense power of our mind, capable of taking over us, easily making any mental disease a physical disability in a short period of time if not treated properly.

Therefore, I have decided to write this article to support this cause, and to offer my help to those struggling with mental health diseases, with the only aim of breaking the stigma of psychological conditions, by inviting you to reflect on the importance of talking openly about it.

You may be wondering now why would you sharing your personal experiences with a stranger who does not have nothing to do with you and with your own life? 

Good point, however no one is forcing you to do this, unless you understand how incredible the impact of your action would be, not only on yourself but also on other people’s mental health. 

When I was younger, I was a victim of this system too, and even the thought of being judged or unfairly labelled and excluded by my peers was terrifying me. 

I have spent years and years pretending to be someone else, building my own character to better fit the social schemes of my generation, with the consequence of forgetting completely who I was and what I wanted in my life. 

Be You
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But then I reached a point when I realised that this ongoing hiding was not worthy at all, and that I absolutely deserve to be free to be my real self, stop being ashamed of my own feelings and emotions. And if I could go back, I would probably make the same choice again and again, as I am 100 % confident of my own decision and on the implications that this could have not only on my mental and physical wellbeing, but also on my relationships with people around me. 

It is extraordinary how a simple and small action can make you feel relieved and reborn, changing completely your whole life and your perception of the outside world.

This is why, now that we are reaching the end of today’s topic, I am going to share with you a 7 Steps Guide I have set for myself as a reminder of the importance of breaking the stigma of Mental Health Conditions.

Whenever you are struggling to let your thoughts out, remember that:

  1. You are free to express yourself without any worries of being judged or wrongly labelled by society.
  2. Talking openly about your mental health illness makes you have a better understanding of where you are right now, analysing the causes and the consequences impacting your emotional state.
  3. It can help not only yourself, but also someone else struggling with a similar condition, as it will encourage other people to talk.
  4. It will change your concept related to your disease, turning it from a negative into a positive one, and you will feel less pressured and anxious about it.
  5. You are not the only person in this room suffering from a mental health condition. 1 out of 6 people in the UK experiences a mental health disease, especially nowadays, due to the pandemic and the impact of it on our lives.
  6. If you decide to stop pretending to be okay, someone else will do the same.
  7. There is nothing wrong with being diagnosed with a mental health condition; it is like any other physical disability, and it can get more severe if not treated properly or if being held for a long time.

Do not let your fears and insecurities dictate your future and your own happiness. 

There will always be someone trying to let you down; prejudice and assumptions are part of the human nature; you cannot change this, but you can change your approach to it by making a choice today: you will be no longer impacted by the judgement of people around you. 

You have the right to be yourself, expressing your feelings without any shame or fear.

Talk to someone today, let your ‘silent disability’ be heard and have the respect that it deserves.

Girl Happy
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HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What do you know about mindset and what kind of mindset do you think you have? Are you mostly a positive person, always looking for the good side in every situation? Or do you take things negatively, falling at the first hurdle?

Whatever your personality is, your mindset is that supernatural force, the most powerful one that will drive you at every moment of your way. It is your daily fuel, that boundless energy that will determine your own perception and vision of life, based on your beliefs system and on your personal experiences.

But let us now have a look at how our past influences our mindset and our worldview.

What happens in our brain when we absorb our very first information in the childhood?

The early years of a child from 2 to 8 are crucial for the brain’s development, especially at the age of 3. This is when the main architecture of our brain is formed, laying the foundation of our future, and influencing the way we will function later in life.

As you may be aware, children have the capability of absorbing information very easily, with the consequence of developing a sense of being that will mostly be impacted by what they stored during the childhood.

Everything that they consistently experience throughout their early years moulds their vision of themselves and of the rest of the world, structuring their beliefs system.

For instance, if someone is constantly treated with respect, his/her inner belief will be that he/she will give value to him/herself, same for who is continuously put down, starting to think and acting like someone who is worthless and does not deserve happiness.

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Over time, these beliefs get stored in our subconscious mind, where is located our long-term memory, guiding the path of our life without us even realising it.

That is when we start to develop our own mindset, that will impact our way of thinking, our feelings and behaviours, our whole concept of life and our assumptions, consequently determining our approach to daily challenges, changes and difficult situations, our personal success, and our relationships with people.

It is all about mindset. As you know, life is unpredictable and it might surprise you at any moment, testing your abilities to adapt to changes and to the most unexpected situations. There is no perfect time; we all have our ups and downs, bad and good days, like there are no rainbows without any storms. What does really matter is how you approach the external circumstances and how you will face every new challenge with positivity and persistence.

It is important to acknowledge that the quality of our life does all depend on us and on our willingness to react to the circumstances in the right way. We can be positive despite the difficulties that we meet every day and win every single battle that will come across our path, or we can end up overwhelmed at the first occasion, letting day-to-day problems controlling our emotional and physical state. The choice is only ours.

There are two main different types of mindset that shape our lives: the Fixed and the Growth one.

“A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.”  As mentioned by Carol Dweck, psychologist at Stanford University of California, in of her most remarkably masterpieces Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.  

If you find yourself having a Fixed Mindset, it is most likely that you will indulge into your comfort zone, sensing everything that is new and that differs from your usual habits as a sort of threat; by contrast, your Growth Mindset will take you places you have not explored yet, always discovering new skills you were not even aware of. This will also have a significant impact on your whole personality and propension to react to changes.

But is it possible to develop a different mindset throughout our life despite our natural tendency?

Indeed, it is. And I am going to tell you why.

Thanks to Neuroplasticity, it has been scientifically proven that the human brain has a huge capability of flexibility and reorganization because of individual neuron pathways making new connections and to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.

This is an incredible discovery as it means that if you are no longer satisfied with your current life and you would like to achieve better results you can work on restructuring your beliefs system, adopting a completely new vision and approach to a better future.

The first thing, and the most important one that you should do is to increase your awareness, understanding that each external event is not the reason for your personal dissatisfaction and for your unhappiness: your mindset is! And if you will switch your energy into a more positive one, adopting a Growth Mindset, your whole life will turn into an ocean of possibilities and successes. No matter the obstacles that will stand in your way and how many stumbling blocks you will encounter along your path; you will not lose your drive and that motivation that brought you here. Actually, you will accept each new opportunity to keep learning new things, constantly expanding your level of knowledge and your ability to overcome the difficulties.

Mindset
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You will no longer feel overloaded or under pressure and you will take everything with more ease.

I have learnt at my expenses that I cannot limit myself for fear of making mistakes and that it is never too late to develop new skills and increase my level of education. I have learnt that if I start my day with a ‘can do’ attitude I will have more chances to achieve the goals that I have previously set, instead of doubting and underestimating myself. And I have also realised that if I look at the good aspect of things, I will approach each new challenge in the right way, feeling mentally and physically healthier.

We are what we think. It is not just a figure of speech. It is a state of mind.

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE PANDEMIC

It has been already one year since the pandemic hit us, radically changing our way of being and our own lives. But, if you think about it, it seems yesterday when we were pestered by continuous news about Covid-19, first in China and then, gradually spreading all over the world.

Who would have predicted this virus would have affected us so dramatically?

It is incredible how negatively it has impacted not only the economy of the whole planet, but also human interactions and, not to mention about people’s mental health.

At times it felt like I was being run over by a train at full speed. And I am sure most of you might know what I am talking about.

Yes, I mean you, reading this article, hoping to find someone who has been going through the same storm as you are. Others some more, others some less, we have been all overwhelmed by this tragic event.

Many people have been made redundant, have lost family members and their loved ones, some have left the UK, moving back to their countries of origin, and so many couples have separated. In short, it has been a real catastrophe. And it is not over yet!

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But today, I would like to share my personal experience with you, and I hope this will help you to feel understood and that it will encourage you not to give up. Because I know it is not easy to cope with your own thoughts when it seems like everything is coming apart.

Till February 2021 I had the perfect life. I had a job that I loved, amazing friends and so many reasons to be happy. It was too great to be real. I still remember how often I closed my eyes, wondering if I was just dreaming of if it was all true, having to deal with anxiety since I was a kid.

But, apparently, my own wars were not over yet. Covid has invaded my personal balance, and it has been like a nightmare.

I was furloughed for 6 long months which – although not extremely hard at the very beginning – became a struggle with each passing day. All my traumas from the past came to a head when I had a panic attack on the tube. And so, anxiety knocked on my door once again, after so long, and I got ill. 

It has been tough having to accept it, as I thought my mental illness was just a bad distant memory, but I was wrong. Because, believe it or not, if you are a sensitive person, you will always be predisposed to suffer from anxiety, even after years. There will be a single incident that will jog something loose in your mind, and it will easily get out of control.

I went back to work in the middle of my panic disorder for two months, before being furloughed again, and my frantic run towards an endless tunnel begun.

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I was terrified of the thought of another lockdown alone in a foreign country. I needed my family, I could not cope with that alone, not at that time. Thus, I decided to go back home for a while, and so I booked the last flight to Italy before the borders were closed, and I stayed there for a while.

My fixed appointments with panic attacks kept recurring often, even if I kept hiding my feelings, pretending it was all good, lying not only to my parents and to my friends, but also to myself. And it was just then that I decided I had to do something to fight my own battles. I had to study the brain to have a better understanding of what was going on with my mind. I wanted to be able to solve my own problems, and to help other people struggling with the same illnesses one day.

And that is how Dressed From Within was born, combining my passion for fashion and my personal experiences with psychology and my natural tendency to support those in need.

Over a three month period, I took a course in Fashion and Styling and another one in Life Coaching, before immersing myself in the fascinating world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and then I started to work on my website. In the meanwhile, a new vacancy as a Team Leader on my current job was opened, and I thought I should go for it.

Once again, I needed a big change, and I had to face my own fears to survive and to be able to live again.

I was still on furlough when I decided I had to come back to London, as I felt every day more insecure and fragile, despite everything I was doing to cope with anxiety and all my personal goals.

And it was just when I set foot into the underground again that I realised I was completely out of control and that I needed some help. Social anxiety is like an impetuous shadow that follows you everywhere you go when you leave your place and you are surrounded by people. Those suffering from the same illness know what I am talking about. And it is terrible because it leads you to isolate yourself from social contexts, no matter how friendly you are and how much you love human interactions. It changes your personality completely, making you vulnerable and depressed.

And this is how I started to feel at some point. I was tired, frustrated, hopeless. I had no more strength to fight as the more I was trying to cope with my anxiety, the more I was hit by panic attacks. I was about to give up on my dreams, on my goals and on my project. I felt like my studies were not helping me as I hoped they would.

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Thus, one day I convinced myself that I had to ask for help, and so I did. And I will never regret my choice, as it made me realise that I am not alone and that I have all the resources I need to face my own wars.

On the first of April 2021, I launched my own business as an Image Consultant and Empowerment Coach, and shortly after, I got the incredible news that I passed that job interview and I got promoted as a Team Leader at my current workplace. I would be lying if I told you that the fact that I had to go back to work did not scare me. Till a couple of weeks ago, I was not even able to take the tube due to panic disorders.

But I did go to the office on my first day and I was still panicking the first week, that I thought I would not pull it off, as I could barely breathe, and I was struggling to cope with those chronic stomach cramps.

And now I am here, happier than ever to have won one of the most traumatic battles of my life, I am proud of myself and of my courage, that bravery that has never left me, even when I thought I was failing and that I did not have any more reason for hope.

To be fully honest, it has not been easy to share my recent experience with you right now, as it is still fresh and vivid in my mind, but I thought I should talk about it to make you feel less alone and to encourage you to keep fighting.

Holding hands
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You are not weak if you suffer from mental illness. And you are not a loser if you ask for help. You are more special and unique than you think. Trust me, you would not be anxious if you did not have that deep perception of things. Panic would not suck your energy and your every breath if you were not so perfectionist and considerate. And depression would not destroy you if you were not the sensitive human being that you are.

Because, whether you realize it or not, you are incredible and you are capable of everything you want!

Do not lose that faith, never ever! As it will be what will give you the strength to move on and what will make you believe in yourself again, when you least expect it. And that is exactly what happened to me.

I hope that my story would help you to see a glimmer of light in that dark room you have been hiding. Remember, you are stronger than you think. Never doubt that.

Mental Health
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PSYCHOLOGY AND FASHION – ARE THEY LINKED?

Have you ever thought about the impact that psychology has on people’s behaviours, habits, vision and values, and how it then reverberates completely throughout our everyday life?

And have you ever seen fashion as a sort of mirror that reflects our personalities, our past experiences and who we are today?

You have come across my blog right now probably because you like to go deeper and deeper, constantly looking for what is beneath the mainstream surface, a reason that could possibly explain why things are a certain way.

And that is why, through this article, I am inviting you to disconnect from the idea you have always had about fashion and style as ‘simple clothing and nothing else’, introducing you to a more complex concept of it: we are what we wear!

Believe it or not, the entire world of fashion is connected to psychology and people’s mental health more than you could have ever imagined.

Fashion is not only an art. It is the freedom of soul, a real expression of ourselves and our emotions.

How many times did you feel unique, powerful, desired and in the spotlight while proudly sporting the dress of your dreams, the one you always wanted to wear? Did you not experience excitement, good vibes, and a particular sense of power?

And how often did you hear people or magazines talking about the common and effective retail therapy? Which, as incorrect as it may be (in the medical and psychotherapeutic field it is not an actual therapy, and in addition to it, spending money and busy shops can be stressful at times), it has statistically proven to have a positive impact on our brain and personal well-being, as long as it does not lead to a compulsive buying disorder and you do not exceed on shopping.

But, what does exactly happen in our mind when we do something for ourselves simply to feel better within our consciousness? When we generate positive thoughts, our brain starts producing serotonin, creating a feeling of happiness, peace and calm. *

*For those who have never come across this before, Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and it is commonly known as a ‘happy hormone’, together with Dopamine (important part of the brain’s reward system), Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’, and Endorphins (our body’s natural pain reliever).

By contrast, in the experience of anxiety and depression, we tend to dedicate less time looking after our wellness and our image, ending up not caring enough about our person, our body, and in the worst-case scenario, about our whole life.

Fashion & Psychology 3
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Have you ever awakened in the morning in the most absolute negativity? It’s a new day but you are impassive, and you feel completely apathetic, responding with inertia. And you get on with it, just because this is what you should do. But the truth is that deep down you know that the only thing you want is to be left in peace and to hibernate from the rest world.

Did it happen to you? Well, I guess so, at least once in your life.

And did you dress up on that occasion? Did you wear make-up? Did you tie up your hair, as usual?

I remember, when I was going through a breakdown a few years ago, I did not even take off my pyjamas, as I was so sick and depressed. Do you feel it is a justifiable reaction that we use to cope with that specific emotional state? And would you act in a similar manner under these circumstances?

I know some people have the ability to take life lightly, facing each challenge with an astonishing amount of courage and an enviable tenacity, like if it was another great opportunity to prove how brave and determined they are.

A striking example of this is one of my mother’s historical friends, an incredibly strong woman that has always wanted to get noticed for her eccentric and extravagant style, led by an extremely strong personality. She has been fighting against cancer for her whole life, travelling all over the world, looking for the right treatment and medication that could at least relieve the pain that she has been carrying on with her for all those years. Many times, she was told she would not make it or that she would have had just a couple of months left. However, I have not seen her even once without her long blond wig, her showy rings and accessories, complemented by her inevitable heavy make-up.

She is a real example and a role model to me, a great woman full of life that would fight against all odds to win each battle that might show up.

Following the theory of ‘looking good to feel good’ is advisable, not only when going through a tough time. It should be kept as a permanent state of mind instead, as a law that cannot be broken, no matter what. *

Fashion & Psychology - Looking Good to Feel Good
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*In the COVID-19 pandemic, mental health professionals have been encouraging those working from home to make sure that they would have followed the same morning routines as usual (having a shower, getting dressed, wearing make-up, etc..) as to get ready for the day. It feels you with a sense of purpose with a natural state of preparedness and determination. This advice was not so people could look good for others, but an effective way to naturally feel good about themselves.

I would also recommend having a couple of strategic outfits in your wardrobe that can make you feel unique and powerful. You should save them for special occasions for when external factors are negatively affecting you, as if life was sending you messages that what you are doing at the moment is not quite right and you should acknowledge it. These strategic outfits will aid you in taking extra care of yourself, by empowering your emotional well-being and promoting your mental confidence.

But let’s now have a deeper look at how psychology reflects on human behaviours, posture and body language, and people’s style.

Have you ever noticed that more introverted people tend not to show much about themselves by keeping a basic and neutral style, generally hunching their shoulders inward, both when sitting and standing?

By contrast, confident personalities dress for success, looking impeccable most of the times through a unique attention to details. These people make eye contact when engaging a conversation with a pitch and distinct tone of voice, having a great posture and steady head.

As you can see, fashion plays a significant role in who we are and in our lifestyle.

You can tell many things by the way people dress, the way they act, by their unconscious attitudes, approaches and habits, even by the way they walk.

A brisk walking pace speaks volumes about our level of self-confidence. It shows determination and a high self-esteem, attracting those around us and spreading positive energy to the whole surrounding environment.

Thus, psychology holds immense power on our everyday lives, affecting who we are, our choices and our mental health.

A bit of simple advice I would like to give you today, is to avoid taking life too seriously.

Try to picture it as if it was a wardrobe. I am sure most of you might do a bit of de-cluttering from time to time, preparing for the season change or even just for emotional needs, organising clothes by getting rid of things you no longer need and replacing them with the latest trends. Why not trying to do the same with your own limiting beliefs, cleaning your mind from each negative thought that is preventing you from making your dreams come true and from becoming who you want to be?

If it is not your intention to live for the day, to not be overtaken by external events and circumstances, make sure you do the same with fashion: simplify, select your garments, be unique and dress every day to impress!

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