In my posts, I talk a lot about self-love and self-esteem. And I do so because I have learnt at my expense that I cannot live the life of my dreams and be a happy and healthy woman if I am not at peace with myself.
I have spent several years waiting for someone, an ideal partner, that could make me feel ‘less empty’ and less alone, fully depending on men, thinking that I was not good enough to look after myself.
When, one day, after countless mistakes, I realised I was not doing the right thing and that I was 100 % capable of becoming a successful and independent woman.
How did this happen?
Well, my own experiences have taught me a lot, making me aware of how it is important to give myself the right value that I deserve. In addition to this, I have learnt that I should always take some time out for myself, no matter what.
City life is an ongoing challenge. It is not for everyone. It is like a carousel that never stops, and it keeps testing your abilities and your level of tolerance.
Those who live in London, like me, should definitely know what I am talking about.
Nevertheless, it has turned out that during pandemic – having been furloughed for almost a year – I realised how important is to reserve some quality ‘me time’ and that, on a scale of values, I should always be on top of my list.
It is not a matter of being selfish, it is making yourself a priority in order to be able to enjoy life the most, and to look after others in the second place.
In the last 4 years, I have been so stuck into London hectic lifestyle that I could barely remember what I liked and how creative I was.
I was spending the whole day outside for work, travelling endless hours on the tube, heading back home in the evening absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed.
Then, I reached that point when I wondered if this was really worth it. And when I finally had all the time I have always needed, I felt I should have probably played some music again, and maybe take my canvas and brushes to start painting, like I used to do when I was younger.
And it has been amazing. It has been like reconnecting with myself after so long, discovering I haven’t lost my unconditional love for art and that I had some sides of me yet unknown.
Having said that, before providing you with some tips on how to preserve your own time, I would like you to deeply focus on yourself and on your life, visualising your system of values as a sort of pyramid.
What is that you care the most? If it is love, it should be at the top of it. How do you keep yourself occupied? Do you like travelling, practicing sport, helping others? And what is the least important thing for you?
If you are not sure about it, then this is your chance to reflect and reconnect with yourself.
And now, here are 5 tips I recommend you to consider if you feel that you are getting overloaded and under pressure:
- Learn how to say ‘no’ without blaming yourself for it
I know it is difficult to say ‘no’ to your boss that is giving you an important task, especially if you are driven, as much as I am, and you want to progress within the company, or to a friend you really care about. But you are not a superhero and you do not have to prove anything to others, rather than to yourself.
Thus, stop pretending you have some sort of superpowers. You are a human being and you can only do so much every day.
People will appreciate your honesty and you will not end up stressed and in a bad mood;
2. Have a hobby, a project to keep yourself occupied outside of work
Do your daily workout, run, draw, cook your favourite dishes, if that makes you feel more relaxed. But do not live your life to work, as there is nothing sadder than that.
You should always have an escape from the routine, your relief valve to enjoy your own freedom and your personal life.
3. Do not jump into a relationship, just because you cannot be alone
First of all, allow me to tell you that this is just one of your countless limiting beliefs. You can only think that you are not able to be on your own. It is your personal conviction.
The truth is that you are perfectly capable of being an independent woman. You just have to get out of that comfort zone and make things change!
You will be surprised of how much you will enjoy yourself and your own time once you will take courage to stop depending on others.
4. Buy yourself a treat, take a day off from work
It is important that you reserve some time for yourself, once in a while. Take a day off for a longer weekend in the countryside or for a Spa Circuit to get rid of the accumulated stress. You could even offer yourself a dinner at your favourite restaurant, or buy yourself a gift. It will make you feel more confident, empowered, and more relaxed.
I try to do this more than once a month, to ensure I do not deny myself anything and as a reminder that my happiness does not depend on anybody else.
5. Learn how to plan ahead, managing your time
The last and final tip is one of the most important ones for me.
Do you manage your time or does your time control you? Are you getting enough sleep, exercising at least three times a week? If the answer is no, then it is most likely that you will not be effective as you should.
You will end up getting anxious and frustrated, and consequently, both your mind and your body will take longer to produce.
Try to change your schedule to make your life easier, and learn how to set measurable and attainable goals.
If you cannot complete a task today, just do it tomorrow without stressing out!
Now that we have come to the end of our weekly appointment with Dressed From Within, I hope that you enjoyed this article like you did with the previous ones, and that it will help you to remind yourself how important you are and how valuable is your own freedom.
Do not wait for the river to overwhelm you. Make that change as soon as possible, as time is the most precious resource we have and there is no turning back.
