Well-being – dressedfromwithin

7 REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BREAK THE STIGMA OF MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS

Posted on 07/07/202106/07/2021 by Coach Adele

We have been reading about stigma of mental health conditions quite often nowadays.

People are frustrated and exhausted; they are tired of having to keep hiding their own feelings and emotions in a society that is consuming us every day more.

There is an even stronger need of confrontation and support right now, after all the uncertainty and the big changes that the pandemic has involved in many sectors of our everyday life.

But what is exactly a ‘stigma’ and how it affects our mental and physical wellbeing?

A stigma is a sign of unacceptability, the shame or disgraced attached to something defined as ‘socially inadmissible’.

My question to this form of prejudice that has been happening from a lifetime is:

When are we going to reach parity in treating mental health and physical health?

There is much talk about it, but only a few facts and little concrete actions, in fact recent studies on mental health statistics in the UK have proven that only a 36.2% of people suffering from a mental health disease get treated for it.

And do you know why this happens? Some people take longer to realise the stage of their psychological conditions, others believe that they can handle their personal problems on their own, however the main reason of it is due to an excessive worry of social contexts and people’s assumptions – how shameful!

We live in the 21^st Century and we still have to face and tolerate the hypocrisy and the abuses from those who take freedom to bully and to marginalise the weakest ones for the sheer pleasure of feeling powerful and almighty.

Stop Bullying — Photo by Rodnae Productions from Pexels

This is unbearable if you think about those suffering from any other physical illness, like diabetes, cancer, chronic or heart disease, and how these cases are fairly considered by society.

Nevertheless, there are still countless ‘silent diseases’, such as anxiety, panic disorders, phobias, PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD and many others which are still identified as ‘less serious’ or, even worse, described with a derogatory language.

This is extremely alarming knowing the immense power of our mind, capable of taking over us, easily making any mental disease a physical disability in a short period of time if not treated properly.

Therefore, I have decided to write this article to support this cause, and to offer my help to those struggling with mental health diseases, with the only aim of breaking the stigma of psychological conditions, by inviting you to reflect on the importance of talking openly about it.

You may be wondering now why would you sharing your personal experiences with a stranger who does not have nothing to do with you and with your own life?

Good point, however no one is forcing you to do this, unless you understand how incredible the impact of your action would be, not only on yourself but also on other people’s mental health.

When I was younger, I was a victim of this system too, and even the thought of being judged or unfairly labelled and excluded by my peers was terrifying me.

I have spent years and years pretending to be someone else, building my own character to better fit the social schemes of my generation, with the consequence of forgetting completely who I was and what I wanted in my life.

Be You — Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels

But then I reached a point when I realised that this ongoing hiding was not worthy at all, and that I absolutely deserve to be free to be my real self, stop being ashamed of my own feelings and emotions. And if I could go back, I would probably make the same choice again and again, as I am 100 % confident of my own decision and on the implications that this could have not only on my mental and physical wellbeing, but also on my relationships with people around me.

It is extraordinary how a simple and small action can make you feel relieved and reborn, changing completely your whole life and your perception of the outside world.

This is why, now that we are reaching the end of today’s topic, I am going to share with you a 7 Steps Guide I have set for myself as a reminder of the importance of breaking the stigma of Mental Health Conditions.

Whenever you are struggling to let your thoughts out, remember that:

You are free to express yourself without any worries of being judged or wrongly labelled by society.
Talking openly about your mental health illness makes you have a better understanding of where you are right now, analysing the causes and the consequences impacting your emotional state.
It can help not only yourself, but also someone else struggling with a similar condition, as it will encourage other people to talk.
It will change your concept related to your disease, turning it from a negative into a positive one, and you will feel less pressured and anxious about it.
You are not the only person in this room suffering from a mental health condition. 1 out of 6 people in the UK experiences a mental health disease, especially nowadays, due to the pandemic and the impact of it on our lives.
If you decide to stop pretending to be okay, someone else will do the same.
There is nothing wrong with being diagnosed with a mental health condition; it is like any other physical disability, and it can get more severe if not treated properly or if being held for a long time.

Do not let your fears and insecurities dictate your future and your own happiness.

There will always be someone trying to let you down; prejudice and assumptions are part of the human nature; you cannot change this, but you can change your approach to it by making a choice today: you will be no longer impacted by the judgement of people around you.

You have the right to be yourself, expressing your feelings without any shame or fear.

Talk to someone today, let your ‘silent disability’ be heard and have the respect that it deserves.

Girl Happy — Photo by Alena Shekhovtcova from Pexels

HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Posted on 09/06/202108/06/2021 by Coach Adele

What do you know about mindset and what kind of mindset do you think you have? Are you mostly a positive person, always looking for the good side in every situation? Or do you take things negatively, falling at the first hurdle?

Whatever your personality is, your mindset is that supernatural force, the most powerful one that will drive you at every moment of your way. It is your daily fuel, that boundless energy that will determine your own perception and vision of life, based on your beliefs system and on your personal experiences.

But let us now have a look at how our past influences our mindset and our worldview.

What happens in our brain when we absorb our very first information in the childhood?

The early years of a child from 2 to 8 are crucial for the brain’s development, especially at the age of 3. This is when the main architecture of our brain is formed, laying the foundation of our future, and influencing the way we will function later in life.

As you may be aware, children have the capability of absorbing information very easily, with the consequence of developing a sense of being that will mostly be impacted by what they stored during the childhood.

Everything that they consistently experience throughout their early years moulds their vision of themselves and of the rest of the world, structuring their beliefs system.

For instance, if someone is constantly treated with respect, his/her inner belief will be that he/she will give value to him/herself, same for who is continuously put down, starting to think and acting like someone who is worthless and does not deserve happiness.

Over time, these beliefs get stored in our subconscious mind, where is located our long-term memory, guiding the path of our life without us even realising it.

That is when we start to develop our own mindset, that will impact our way of thinking, our feelings and behaviours, our whole concept of life and our assumptions, consequently determining our approach to daily challenges, changes and difficult situations, our personal success, and our relationships with people.

It is all about mindset. As you know, life is unpredictable and it might surprise you at any moment, testing your abilities to adapt to changes and to the most unexpected situations. There is no perfect time; we all have our ups and downs, bad and good days, like there are no rainbows without any storms. What does really matter is how you approach the external circumstances and how you will face every new challenge with positivity and persistence.

It is important to acknowledge that the quality of our life does all depend on us and on our willingness to react to the circumstances in the right way. We can be positive despite the difficulties that we meet every day and win every single battle that will come across our path, or we can end up overwhelmed at the first occasion, letting day-to-day problems controlling our emotional and physical state. The choice is only ours.

There are two main different types of mindset that shape our lives: the Fixed and the Growth one.

“A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.” As mentioned by Carol Dweck, psychologist at Stanford University of California, in of her most remarkably masterpieces Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.

If you find yourself having a Fixed Mindset, it is most likely that you will indulge into your comfort zone, sensing everything that is new and that differs from your usual habits as a sort of threat; by contrast, your Growth Mindset will take you places you have not explored yet, always discovering new skills you were not even aware of. This will also have a significant impact on your whole personality and propension to react to changes.

But is it possible to develop a different mindset throughout our life despite our natural tendency?

Indeed, it is. And I am going to tell you why.

Thanks to Neuroplasticity, it has been scientifically proven that the human brain has a huge capability of flexibility and reorganization because of individual neuron pathways making new connections and to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.

This is an incredible discovery as it means that if you are no longer satisfied with your current life and you would like to achieve better results you can work on restructuring your beliefs system, adopting a completely new vision and approach to a better future.

The first thing, and the most important one that you should do is to increase your awareness, understanding that each external event is not the reason for your personal dissatisfaction and for your unhappiness: your mindset is! And if you will switch your energy into a more positive one, adopting a Growth Mindset, your whole life will turn into an ocean of possibilities and successes. No matter the obstacles that will stand in your way and how many stumbling blocks you will encounter along your path; you will not lose your drive and that motivation that brought you here. Actually, you will accept each new opportunity to keep learning new things, constantly expanding your level of knowledge and your ability to overcome the difficulties.

Mindset — Photo by Designecologist from Pexels

You will no longer feel overloaded or under pressure and you will take everything with more ease.

I have learnt at my expenses that I cannot limit myself for fear of making mistakes and that it is never too late to develop new skills and increase my level of education. I have learnt that if I start my day with a ‘can do’ attitude I will have more chances to achieve the goals that I have previously set, instead of doubting and underestimating myself. And I have also realised that if I look at the good aspect of things, I will approach each new challenge in the right way, feeling mentally and physically healthier.

We are what we think. It is not just a figure of speech. It is a state of mind.

THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE AND HOW TO PRACTISE IT

Posted on 26/05/202125/05/2021 by Coach Adele

We tend to spend most of our personal life focusing on the negativity, rather than appreciating the good side of things and making the most of every single moment.

It is incredible how twisted human nature is, when it could be so easy to use and transform our energy into something positive each time we encounter a new obstacle.

I keep wondering why we always wait for the storm to begin before seeing the sun and starting to absorb the warmth and joy emanated by the power of such a supreme, cosmic force.

Why do we have to fall ill or lose our loved ones to get strong enough and be able to live our life to the fullest, rather than just surviving and waiting for another day to go by?

We hear of many people who almost died and radically changed their vision and values only after a coma or a family loss, whilst at the same time, the most disadvantaged ones keep surprising us with genuine smiles and simple gestures.

Why does this happen? We live in a society that consumes us, drowning us in its corruption and false ideals. And this continuous desire to possess excessively turned us into some perpetually unhappy creatures, constantly looking for what we do not know or what we do not have yet.

It is right in this scenario of general dissatisfaction that we should all make some efforts to face a change, beginning by the way we think first, following by how we live. This is possible thanks to the power of gratitude.

Gratitude 1 — Photo by Lola Russian from Pexels

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is going to sleep every night and waking up in the morning with a relaxed face and that expression of joy and positive attitude, appreciating the simplest things and being grateful even for being alive in this world.

Gratitude is a small action but of great value that has the infinite power to change your whole perception of life and external events.

It is innate within our spirit, but many people do not know that as they have not discovered this energy yet.

You do own it and you should use this incredible gift as of right now.

As I keep saying in my blog articles: time is the most precious resource we have. Do not wait for the worst to happen before making the most of it.

Why have I decided to talk about this topic today?

Because I am the first one who has experienced this myself, and I perfectly know how gratitude can change your life in a flash.

It took me 29 years before realising that I was not feeling alive, but I was only living my days like if I was doing somebody else a favour. I know this is not the most positive and motivating line to read, but let’s be honest…I am sure I am not the only one in this room!

All I want right now is to be an open book with you.

I am tired to hide my feelings and emotions for fear of being judged, and I want my stories to be able to help you developing a more positive way of thinking, because I do truthfully care about you.

Said that, I will now give you three important tips on how to start practicing gratitude if you are going through depression and you do not know how to get over it:

Familiarise yourself with what is a ‘Gratitude Journal’ and start filling your personal one every evening before going to sleep, and in the morning, as soon as you are awake

Gratitude Journal — Photo by Jess Bailey from Pexels

Though it could appear as banal, it has been scientifically proven that writing a list of positive actions can help you to switch the focus on the positivity aspect of life; same as the use of positive affirmations, a gratitude journal can be extremely beneficial on your mental health. If you are consistent and you do really want to get better, I would suggest you fill out yours one, both day and night. This way you will go to sleep and wake up already in a positive state of mind, with a great determination and with a positive intention.

Dust off your old hobbies or find some new ones to keep yourself occupied with something you enjoy

If you suffer from depression you do not really have enough energy and motivation to carry on your daily tasks. I know how hard it can be when you do not even want to get out of bed and get dressed in the morning. But if you follow my first advice, after one or two weeks (depending on which stadium of depression you are currently in) it is more likely that you will already start to experience a feeling of wellbeing. Trust me, focusing on the positive things in your life, you will get up with another angle, a new you with a new aura, willing to take on new challenges and opportunities, especially if you have the chance to do something that you enjoy.

Be grateful and appreciative every day, but do never lose that drive and that desire for accomplishment

It is important that you do learn how to express gratitude, but without losing your vision and desire to redeem yourself. Setting goals is part of our personal growth and it is what makes us feel stronger and valuable, challenging our own fears and insecurities. Keep this in mind if you want to progress in your life – and I am 100 % confident you want this – even if everything seems to be falling apart right now and you are struggling to see the positive aspect of things.

Remember, life is just one, and it is here and now. You tend to forget about it so often that you can barely take some time for yourself, appreciating the present moment.

But how long do you want to keep having the same routine?

If you want beautiful things to happen to you, you must learn how to appreciate what you already have first. Stop letting yourself be carried away by external events and start living your day as if it was the last one. Life is the most precious gift the universe has given to us, together with time.

And since your time does not go back, you should change your approach to life and start enjoying a bit more what you have and the simplest and the noblest gestures.

Be grateful — Photo by Elina Sazonova from Pexels

Make Yourself A Priority

Posted on 05/05/202104/05/2021 by Coach Adele

In my posts, I talk a lot about self-love and self-esteem. And I do so because I have learnt at my expense that I cannot live the life of my dreams and be a happy and healthy woman if I am not at peace with myself.

I have spent several years waiting for someone, an ideal partner, that could make me feel ‘less empty’ and less alone, fully depending on men, thinking that I was not good enough to look after myself.

When, one day, after countless mistakes, I realised I was not doing the right thing and that I was 100 % capable of becoming a successful and independent woman.

How did this happen?

Well, my own experiences have taught me a lot, making me aware of how it is important to give myself the right value that I deserve. In addition to this, I have learnt that I should always take some time out for myself, no matter what.

City life is an ongoing challenge. It is not for everyone. It is like a carousel that never stops, and it keeps testing your abilities and your level of tolerance.

Hectic lifestyle — Photo by Aleksandr Burzinskij from Pexels

Those who live in London, like me, should definitely know what I am talking about.

Nevertheless, it has turned out that during pandemic – having been furloughed for almost a year – I realised how important is to reserve some quality ‘me time’ and that, on a scale of values, I should always be on top of my list.

It is not a matter of being selfish, it is making yourself a priority in order to be able to enjoy life the most, and to look after others in the second place.

In the last 4 years, I have been so stuck into London hectic lifestyle that I could barely remember what I liked and how creative I was.

I was spending the whole day outside for work, travelling endless hours on the tube, heading back home in the evening absolutely exhausted and overwhelmed.

Then, I reached that point when I wondered if this was really worth it. And when I finally had all the time I have always needed, I felt I should have probably played some music again, and maybe take my canvas and brushes to start painting, like I used to do when I was younger.

And it has been amazing. It has been like reconnecting with myself after so long, discovering I haven’t lost my unconditional love for art and that I had some sides of me yet unknown.

Having said that, before providing you with some tips on how to preserve your own time, I would like you to deeply focus on yourself and on your life, visualising your system of values as a sort of pyramid.

What is that you care the most? If it is love, it should be at the top of it. How do you keep yourself occupied? Do you like travelling, practicing sport, helping others? And what is the least important thing for you?

If you are not sure about it, then this is your chance to reflect and reconnect with yourself.

And now, here are 5 tips I recommend you to consider if you feel that you are getting overloaded and under pressure:

Learn how to say ‘no’ without blaming yourself for it

I know it is difficult to say ‘no’ to your boss that is giving you an important task, especially if you are driven, as much as I am, and you want to progress within the company, or to a friend you really care about. But you are not a superhero and you do not have to prove anything to others, rather than to yourself.

Thus, stop pretending you have some sort of superpowers. You are a human being and you can only do so much every day.

People will appreciate your honesty and you will not end up stressed and in a bad mood;

2. Have a hobby, a project to keep yourself occupied outside of work

Do your daily workout, run, draw, cook your favourite dishes, if that makes you feel more relaxed. But do not live your life to work, as there is nothing sadder than that.

You should always have an escape from the routine, your relief valve to enjoy your own freedom and your personal life.

3. Do not jump into a relationship, just because you cannot be alone

First of all, allow me to tell you that this is just one of your countless limiting beliefs. You can only think that you are not able to be on your own. It is your personal conviction.

The truth is that you are perfectly capable of being an independent woman. You just have to get out of that comfort zone and make things change!

You will be surprised of how much you will enjoy yourself and your own time once you will take courage to stop depending on others.

4. Buy yourself a treat, take a day off from work

Woman Spa — Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

It is important that you reserve some time for yourself, once in a while. Take a day off for a longer weekend in the countryside or for a Spa Circuit to get rid of the accumulated stress. You could even offer yourself a dinner at your favourite restaurant, or buy yourself a gift. It will make you feel more confident, empowered, and more relaxed.

I try to do this more than once a month, to ensure I do not deny myself anything and as a reminder that my happiness does not depend on anybody else.

5. Learn how to plan ahead, managing your time

The last and final tip is one of the most important ones for me.

Do you manage your time or does your time control you? Are you getting enough sleep, exercising at least three times a week? If the answer is no, then it is most likely that you will not be effective as you should.

You will end up getting anxious and frustrated, and consequently, both your mind and your body will take longer to produce.

Try to change your schedule to make your life easier, and learn how to set measurable and attainable goals.

If you cannot complete a task today, just do it tomorrow without stressing out!

Now that we have come to the end of our weekly appointment with Dressed From Within, I hope that you enjoyed this article like you did with the previous ones, and that it will help you to remind yourself how important you are and how valuable is your own freedom.

Do not wait for the river to overwhelm you. Make that change as soon as possible, as time is the most precious resource we have and there is no turning back.

Enjoying life — Photo by Snapwire from Pexels

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE PANDEMIC

Posted on 21/04/202119/04/2021 by Coach Adele

It has been already one year since the pandemic hit us, radically changing our way of being and our own lives. But, if you think about it, it seems yesterday when we were pestered by continuous news about Covid-19, first in China and then, gradually spreading all over the world.

Who would have predicted this virus would have affected us so dramatically?

It is incredible how negatively it has impacted not only the economy of the whole planet, but also human interactions and, not to mention about people’s mental health.

At times it felt like I was being run over by a train at full speed. And I am sure most of you might know what I am talking about.

Yes, I mean you, reading this article, hoping to find someone who has been going through the same storm as you are. Others some more, others some less, we have been all overwhelmed by this tragic event.

Many people have been made redundant, have lost family members and their loved ones, some have left the UK, moving back to their countries of origin, and so many couples have separated. In short, it has been a real catastrophe. And it is not over yet!

But today, I would like to share my personal experience with you, and I hope this will help you to feel understood and that it will encourage you not to give up. Because I know it is not easy to cope with your own thoughts when it seems like everything is coming apart.

Till February 2021 I had the perfect life. I had a job that I loved, amazing friends and so many reasons to be happy. It was too great to be real. I still remember how often I closed my eyes, wondering if I was just dreaming of if it was all true, having to deal with anxiety since I was a kid.

But, apparently, my own wars were not over yet. Covid has invaded my personal balance, and it has been like a nightmare.

I was furloughed for 6 long months which – although not extremely hard at the very beginning – became a struggle with each passing day. All my traumas from the past came to a head when I had a panic attack on the tube. And so, anxiety knocked on my door once again, after so long, and I got ill.

It has been tough having to accept it, as I thought my mental illness was just a bad distant memory, but I was wrong. Because, believe it or not, if you are a sensitive person, you will always be predisposed to suffer from anxiety, even after years. There will be a single incident that will jog something loose in your mind, and it will easily get out of control.

I went back to work in the middle of my panic disorder for two months, before being furloughed again, and my frantic run towards an endless tunnel begun.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood & Maisa Borges from Pexels

I was terrified of the thought of another lockdown alone in a foreign country. I needed my family, I could not cope with that alone, not at that time. Thus, I decided to go back home for a while, and so I booked the last flight to Italy before the borders were closed, and I stayed there for a while.

My fixed appointments with panic attacks kept recurring often, even if I kept hiding my feelings, pretending it was all good, lying not only to my parents and to my friends, but also to myself. And it was just then that I decided I had to do something to fight my own battles. I had to study the brain to have a better understanding of what was going on with my mind. I wanted to be able to solve my own problems, and to help other people struggling with the same illnesses one day.

And that is how Dressed From Within was born, combining my passion for fashion and my personal experiences with psychology and my natural tendency to support those in need.

Over a three month period, I took a course in Fashion and Styling and another one in Life Coaching, before immersing myself in the fascinating world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and then I started to work on my website. In the meanwhile, a new vacancy as a Team Leader on my current job was opened, and I thought I should go for it.

Once again, I needed a big change, and I had to face my own fears to survive and to be able to live again.

I was still on furlough when I decided I had to come back to London, as I felt every day more insecure and fragile, despite everything I was doing to cope with anxiety and all my personal goals.

And it was just when I set foot into the underground again that I realised I was completely out of control and that I needed some help. Social anxiety is like an impetuous shadow that follows you everywhere you go when you leave your place and you are surrounded by people. Those suffering from the same illness know what I am talking about. And it is terrible because it leads you to isolate yourself from social contexts, no matter how friendly you are and how much you love human interactions. It changes your personality completely, making you vulnerable and depressed.

And this is how I started to feel at some point. I was tired, frustrated, hopeless. I had no more strength to fight as the more I was trying to cope with my anxiety, the more I was hit by panic attacks. I was about to give up on my dreams, on my goals and on my project. I felt like my studies were not helping me as I hoped they would.

Thus, one day I convinced myself that I had to ask for help, and so I did. And I will never regret my choice, as it made me realise that I am not alone and that I have all the resources I need to face my own wars.

On the first of April 2021, I launched my own business as an Image Consultant and Empowerment Coach, and shortly after, I got the incredible news that I passed that job interview and I got promoted as a Team Leader at my current workplace. I would be lying if I told you that the fact that I had to go back to work did not scare me. Till a couple of weeks ago, I was not even able to take the tube due to panic disorders.

But I did go to the office on my first day and I was still panicking the first week, that I thought I would not pull it off, as I could barely breathe, and I was struggling to cope with those chronic stomach cramps.

And now I am here, happier than ever to have won one of the most traumatic battles of my life, I am proud of myself and of my courage, that bravery that has never left me, even when I thought I was failing and that I did not have any more reason for hope.

To be fully honest, it has not been easy to share my recent experience with you right now, as it is still fresh and vivid in my mind, but I thought I should talk about it to make you feel less alone and to encourage you to keep fighting.

Holding hands — Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

You are not weak if you suffer from mental illness. And you are not a loser if you ask for help. You are more special and unique than you think. Trust me, you would not be anxious if you did not have that deep perception of things. Panic would not suck your energy and your every breath if you were not so perfectionist and considerate. And depression would not destroy you if you were not the sensitive human being that you are.

Because, whether you realize it or not, you are incredible and you are capable of everything you want!

Do not lose that faith, never ever! As it will be what will give you the strength to move on and what will make you believe in yourself again, when you least expect it. And that is exactly what happened to me.

I hope that my story would help you to see a glimmer of light in that dark room you have been hiding. Remember, you are stronger than you think. Never doubt that.

Category: Well-being

7 REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BREAK THE STIGMA OF MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS

HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE AND HOW TO PRACTISE IT

Make Yourself A Priority

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