NO MORE FEMALE STEREOTYPE: THE EMPOWERED WOMAN, A NEW MODEL FOR OUR FUTURE

It is not more about what men want from us, now it is time to focus on what we want, instead.

The ‘sexy perfect supermodels’ dominating the catwalks are a bit dated nowadays. In an era of inclusivity, a new type of woman becomes the protagonist of the future fashion scene: the empowered woman.

Goodbye Fallen Angels, this is a rebirth for Victoria’s Secret, which represents the new company updated marketing strategy, the VS Collective, a massive change in the lingerie world.

Do you remember those beautiful creatures walking the runaway, so perfect not to seem real? You will no longer see them, as they have now been replaced by a new concept of woman, much classier and more authentic.

VS Angels

We need reality, not plastic dolls. We are not bodies without a substance. We are intelligent, smart, we are multitalented. We have a soul and an essence that make us unique and special. And we should leave a mark and be remembered for our personalities, no more for our shapes or for what we wear.

This is the message that the greatest designers have been launching since 2017, when France was the first country revolutionizing the whole world of fashion by banning the use of unhealthily thin models from the runaways. Since then, society continued to evolve, and women’s power and success together with it.

This is how, in an ever-changing time, VS decided to surprise us with a well-thought choice, altering its narrative around sensuality and becoming ‘an advocate for all women’, by proposing real ambassadors like Megan Rapinoe, an American athlete and gender equality campaigner, Eileen Gu, a 17-year-old Chinese American freestyle skier, the actress and entrepreneur Priyanka Chopra Jonas and the transgender model Valentina Sampaio.

There is no more space for the ‘Barbie Avatar’, as dubbed by The New York Times. The new generations need to be motivated by strong and ambitious women, by inspirational figures who can lead the way and prove that we, as women, have much more to offer than a pair of beautiful legs.

But this is not all! When it comes to inclusiveness, VS must make an important step also regarding its sizing choice: everyone should be able to access to its collection, and this has not been possible so far due to the brand’s limited sizing options.

Regardless, VS has reassured its regular buyers that this change will be happening soon, in addition to an introduction of a nursing bra and a maternity lingerie to the popular brand.

Will it be a success? Surely it will be a significant step on women’s fashion, completely changing the female stereotype of ‘hot mindless bodies’ and replacing it with a more considerable one.  

Photo by Konstantin Mishchenko from Pexels

This is a very controversial topic for the Women Empowerment Movement as it is extremely frustrating having to face criticism, still now in 2021, when it is relating to our physical appearance and our own choices.

If we dress to draw the eye, we are either too provocative or too little intelligent, and we should not be complaining about men being flirty with us, as we are the first ones giving a wrong impression of ourselves (this is what we have been hearing for ages, even in the worst cases when there are victims of domestic abuses and rapes)

When, instead, we overdress we lack personality, or we are considered too serious for most men’s tastes.

It is time to change this concept by starting to promote a different image of us. We, as women, want to be sexy and seductive not only for the way we present ourselves, but also for our mind, opinion, and education. We are tired to be classified as dolls because we are truly authentic.

We want to be respected and to be loved for who we really are, not for how we look. We want to be engaged in deep conversations, and we want our man to ask for our opinion when needed.

We want to feel supportive and important for someone, no more the ‘entertainer who occasionally fills your spare time’.

Therefore, VS has decided to open its doors to all women, rather than been focusing on one female model only, thus being more diverse and inclusive.

With a new ideal of a woman, we have now the freedom to express our personalities, giving ourselves the right value that we deserve.

The message that the fashion industry is trying to convey is that we, as women, are powerful in every single aspect who better represents us, and everyone should start seeing this by welcoming a new product which empathizes a veil of reality and authenticity.

Adut Akech, Priyanka Chopra & Megan Rapinoe

HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

What do you know about mindset and what kind of mindset do you think you have? Are you mostly a positive person, always looking for the good side in every situation? Or do you take things negatively, falling at the first hurdle?

Whatever your personality is, your mindset is that supernatural force, the most powerful one that will drive you at every moment of your way. It is your daily fuel, that boundless energy that will determine your own perception and vision of life, based on your beliefs system and on your personal experiences.

But let us now have a look at how our past influences our mindset and our worldview.

What happens in our brain when we absorb our very first information in the childhood?

The early years of a child from 2 to 8 are crucial for the brain’s development, especially at the age of 3. This is when the main architecture of our brain is formed, laying the foundation of our future, and influencing the way we will function later in life.

As you may be aware, children have the capability of absorbing information very easily, with the consequence of developing a sense of being that will mostly be impacted by what they stored during the childhood.

Everything that they consistently experience throughout their early years moulds their vision of themselves and of the rest of the world, structuring their beliefs system.

For instance, if someone is constantly treated with respect, his/her inner belief will be that he/she will give value to him/herself, same for who is continuously put down, starting to think and acting like someone who is worthless and does not deserve happiness.

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Over time, these beliefs get stored in our subconscious mind, where is located our long-term memory, guiding the path of our life without us even realising it.

That is when we start to develop our own mindset, that will impact our way of thinking, our feelings and behaviours, our whole concept of life and our assumptions, consequently determining our approach to daily challenges, changes and difficult situations, our personal success, and our relationships with people.

It is all about mindset. As you know, life is unpredictable and it might surprise you at any moment, testing your abilities to adapt to changes and to the most unexpected situations. There is no perfect time; we all have our ups and downs, bad and good days, like there are no rainbows without any storms. What does really matter is how you approach the external circumstances and how you will face every new challenge with positivity and persistence.

It is important to acknowledge that the quality of our life does all depend on us and on our willingness to react to the circumstances in the right way. We can be positive despite the difficulties that we meet every day and win every single battle that will come across our path, or we can end up overwhelmed at the first occasion, letting day-to-day problems controlling our emotional and physical state. The choice is only ours.

There are two main different types of mindset that shape our lives: the Fixed and the Growth one.

“A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.”  As mentioned by Carol Dweck, psychologist at Stanford University of California, in of her most remarkably masterpieces Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.  

If you find yourself having a Fixed Mindset, it is most likely that you will indulge into your comfort zone, sensing everything that is new and that differs from your usual habits as a sort of threat; by contrast, your Growth Mindset will take you places you have not explored yet, always discovering new skills you were not even aware of. This will also have a significant impact on your whole personality and propension to react to changes.

But is it possible to develop a different mindset throughout our life despite our natural tendency?

Indeed, it is. And I am going to tell you why.

Thanks to Neuroplasticity, it has been scientifically proven that the human brain has a huge capability of flexibility and reorganization because of individual neuron pathways making new connections and to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.

This is an incredible discovery as it means that if you are no longer satisfied with your current life and you would like to achieve better results you can work on restructuring your beliefs system, adopting a completely new vision and approach to a better future.

The first thing, and the most important one that you should do is to increase your awareness, understanding that each external event is not the reason for your personal dissatisfaction and for your unhappiness: your mindset is! And if you will switch your energy into a more positive one, adopting a Growth Mindset, your whole life will turn into an ocean of possibilities and successes. No matter the obstacles that will stand in your way and how many stumbling blocks you will encounter along your path; you will not lose your drive and that motivation that brought you here. Actually, you will accept each new opportunity to keep learning new things, constantly expanding your level of knowledge and your ability to overcome the difficulties.

Mindset
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You will no longer feel overloaded or under pressure and you will take everything with more ease.

I have learnt at my expenses that I cannot limit myself for fear of making mistakes and that it is never too late to develop new skills and increase my level of education. I have learnt that if I start my day with a ‘can do’ attitude I will have more chances to achieve the goals that I have previously set, instead of doubting and underestimating myself. And I have also realised that if I look at the good aspect of things, I will approach each new challenge in the right way, feeling mentally and physically healthier.

We are what we think. It is not just a figure of speech. It is a state of mind.

THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE AND HOW TO PRACTISE IT

We tend to spend most of our personal life focusing on the negativity, rather than appreciating the good side of things and making the most of every single moment.

It is incredible how twisted human nature is, when it could be so easy to use and transform our energy into something positive each time we encounter a new obstacle.

I keep wondering why we always wait for the storm to begin before seeing the sun and starting to absorb the warmth and joy emanated by the power of such a supreme, cosmic force.

Why do we have to fall ill or lose our loved ones to get strong enough and be able to live our life to the fullest, rather than just surviving and waiting for another day to go by?

We hear of many people who almost died and radically changed their vision and values only after a coma or a family loss, whilst at the same time, the most disadvantaged ones keep surprising us with genuine smiles and simple gestures.

Why does this happen? We live in a society that consumes us, drowning us in its corruption and false ideals. And this continuous desire to possess excessively turned us into some perpetually unhappy creatures, constantly looking for what we do not know or what we do not have yet.

It is right in this scenario of general dissatisfaction that we should all make some efforts to face a change, beginning by the way we think first, following by how we live. This is possible thanks to the power of gratitude.

Gratitude 1
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What is gratitude?

Gratitude is going to sleep every night and waking up in the morning with a relaxed face and that expression of joy and positive attitude, appreciating the simplest things and being grateful even for being alive in this world.

Gratitude is a small action but of great value that has the infinite power to change your whole perception of life and external events.

It is innate within our spirit, but many people do not know that as they have not discovered this energy yet.

You do own it and you should use this incredible gift as of right now.

As I keep saying in my blog articles: time is the most precious resource we have. Do not wait for the worst to happen before making the most of it.

Why have I decided to talk about this topic today?

Because I am the first one who has experienced this myself, and I perfectly know how gratitude can change your life in a flash.

It took me 29 years before realising that I was not feeling alive, but I was only living my days like if I was doing somebody else a favour. I know this is not the most positive and motivating line to read, but let’s be honest…I am sure I am not the only one in this room!

All I want right now is to be an open book with you.

I am tired to hide my feelings and emotions for fear of being judged, and I want my stories to be able to help you developing a more positive way of thinking, because I do truthfully care about you.

Said that, I will now give you three important tips on how to start practicing gratitude if you are going through depression and you do not know how to get over it:

  • Familiarise yourself with what is a ‘Gratitude Journal’ and start filling your personal one every evening before going to sleep, and in the morning, as soon as you are awake
Gratitude Journal
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Though it could appear as banal, it has been scientifically proven that writing a list of positive actions can help you to switch the focus on the positivity aspect of life; same as the use of positive affirmations, a gratitude journal can be extremely beneficial on your mental health. If you are consistent and you do really want to get better, I would suggest you fill out yours one, both day and night. This way you will go to sleep and wake up already in a positive state of mind, with a great determination and with a positive intention.

  • Dust off your old hobbies or find some new ones to keep yourself occupied with something you enjoy
Photo by Eternal Happiness from Pexels

If you suffer from depression you do not really have enough energy and motivation to carry on your daily tasks. I know how hard it can be when you do not even want to get out of bed and get dressed in the morning. But if you follow my first advice, after one or two weeks (depending on which stadium of depression you are currently in) it is more likely that you will already start to experience a feeling of wellbeing. Trust me, focusing on the positive things in your life, you will get up with another angle, a new you with a new aura, willing to take on new challenges and opportunities, especially if you have the chance to do something that you enjoy.

  • Be grateful and appreciative every day, but do never lose that drive and that desire for accomplishment
Photo by Anna Tarazevich From Pexels

It is important that you do learn how to express gratitude, but without losing your vision and desire to redeem yourself. Setting goals is part of our personal growth and it is what makes us feel stronger and valuable, challenging our own fears and insecurities. Keep this in mind if you want to progress in your life – and I am 100 % confident you want this – even if everything seems to be falling apart right now and you are struggling to see the positive aspect of things.

Remember, life is just one, and it is here and now. You tend to forget about it so often that you can barely take some time for yourself, appreciating the present moment.

But how long do you want to keep having the same routine?

If you want beautiful things to happen to you, you must learn how to appreciate what you already have first. Stop letting yourself be carried away by external events and start living your day as if it was the last one. Life is the most precious gift the universe has given to us, together with time.

And since your time does not go back, you should change your approach to life and start enjoying a bit more what you have and the simplest and the noblest gestures.

Be grateful
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THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

So often we read and hear coaches and public speakers talking about success and the importance of being successful in life.

But what is your definition of success? And what are your feelings and the first thoughts that come up to your mind when you encounter this word and start visualising your personal goals?

I have always thought that, to be successful, I had to be physically attractive, cool and friendly enough to be the one that everyone wants to hang out with, but also smart and educated to make my parents proud of me for my good marks at school and my achievements in my career.

I have always felt the need to prove to myself and to others that I was capable and good at something, most probably because of my own weaknesses and insecurities. Long story short, I ended up believing that being good was not enough anymore, and that, instead, I had to be exceptional to guarantee a prosperous future, not only for myself, but also for my family.

Coming from a humble background, I have had to fight for my dreams. I have had to give up many things, thus I became money-oriented as a consequence of it.

The fact is that we live in a society that constantly confronts us with a harsh reality that makes us believe that we have to be always on top, like some sort of robots that should just produce and consume.

Surely, a wealthy lifestyle makes you live better, but is this really what would make you happy? Is it what you want?

It took me a while to realise that money is not everything, and that my own happiness does not depend on my monthly income and on how much I have in my saving accounts.

Life is much more valuable than that, and so are you.

And if you invest your time focusing exclusively on your future, you will end up being perpetually unsatisfied and unhappy. This will lead you to experience stress and anxiety.

And what for? Is it really worthy if you then become unable to enjoy the present moment?

You Matter
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Why am I talking about this right now and isn’t this principle in contradiction with most models of reality and concepts that we get every day from society?

Well, I am not saying that you should settle down and stop setting goals. It’s a great thing to be driven, trust me.

What I am trying to do instead, is to encourage you to think about what really matters for yourself, focusing for a moment on your scale of values.

What is more important for you? It may be love, it may be your health, or either your career progression or your family. Only you should know the answer to this question.

If you don’t, it might be that at some point in your life, you will be hit by a river in flood that will force you to have a break. And only then, when you won’t have any other excuse, you will disconnect from the rest of the world and concentrate on yourself, realising that what you have always considered crucial was not so essential as you thought.

Because, believe it or not, the more you will move forward, the less you will be able to celebrate your achievements if you do not enjoy the present, starting to appreciate the little things around you.

I have learned the hard way that my own happiness cannot be measured, and neither my personal life and my freedom. And that I can only be successful if I am happy within myself. Everything comes afterwards.

Thus, you will be able to define your meaning of success once you have a clear vision of your values, and then moving forward to your targets.

My advice to you is: be grateful for what you already have, live every second to the fullest because time does not go back, open up to other’s visions, but do not let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Because only you should know what is more relevant for you and who you want to be in the future in order to be successful.  

Freedom
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