Psychology – dressedfromwithin

THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A BREAK FOR YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH

Posted on 15/09/202114/09/2021 by Coach Adele

We live in a society which completely absorbs our energy; each day is like a jungle, a non-stop race that prevents us from enjoying the present time as we should, while we are constantly focused on our future, overwhelmed with a permanent To Do List that has full control over us.

Therefore, it is important to realise when it is the case to stop that freight train and to have a mental and physical break.

As you know, our mind and our body are connected more than you might imagine; physical health problems can significantly increase the chance to develop a mental health disorder, and vice versa; research shows that anxiety and depression are the most common consequences of a physical condition, however it is not excluded that a long-term physical illness could cause a panic disorder or a heart disease.

Hence it is advisable to be more aware of any possible burnout, and to be able to identify any red flag when it shows up before it will be too late.

But what are the most experienced symptoms of a breakdown and how can we recognise them?

Cases can be various, and they can differ from person to person, depending on several factors, but if you happen to notice any of the following cues, then it is the right time for you to step back and to slow down.

Have a break if you:

Feel mentally and physically exhausted, despite your 9-10 hours’ sleep

Have you ever feel completely knocked out even after sleeping for longer than your usual? You think that you have fully recovered from a hectic week at work, but your face is still tense, and your energy level seems to be down; this is a clear evidence of high stress, and you should be taking some days off, dedicating some time for yourself only and to disconnect from the rest of the world for a moment.

Experience any difficulties concentrating and you need to go back to the same task repeatedly

Has it ever happened to you? How often did you go through the same line before sending a simple email to your boss? And how often have you read that paragraph before being able to memorize it? Like a permanent sense of tiredness, a lack of concentration may be another wake-up call in these events. Both factors can be linked to each other, and they can be experienced at the same time, depending on the person’s resilience and mental fitness.

Are easily irritable and you can’t control your emotions

Impulsiveness and aggressive reactions are in most cases due to challenging situations that might be affecting our psychological wellbeing – causes are countless and might have several reasons, but they usual involve people’s personal life and sphere; also, even a chronic disorder or a long-term physical disease is likely to impact your mood, and consequently, your behaviour.

Have been eating a significant amount of food and in a short time, or if you have a loss of appetite

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

Mind these kinds of symptoms, as they might be warning signals of a possible eating disorder, and you should never allow this to happen to you. Your body and your mind don’t deserve that; instead, be prompt to listen to both, understanding that every small action has a valid reason behind it and that it is better to ask for external support when needed.

Get regularly sick and you start developing some physical conditions that you have never had before

Sometimes stress can be so unsustainable and difficult to handle that it starts to impact our immune system too.

I still remember how often I was getting ill when I was extremely anxious and overwhelmed. I experienced the most uncommon symptoms, to the point that I could be barely able to speak or eat due to a severe infection because of mouth ulcers.

I was getting hypochondriac, thinking that I had the worst existing diseases in the planet, even though facts were proving the opposite, showing that I was perfectly fine and healthy.

It is incredible, but this is how powerful our mind and our thoughts are.

Have moments of extreme euphoria, followed by instants of sadness and negative mood

Managing your mood might be a factor of stress itself, and if you can’t make any plan or complete even a simple task you have been doing for a while because of that, then you might be mentally exhausted, or something might be not quite right in your life right now. Bear in mind that, in these cases, if you don’t take any action straight away, this might compromise not only your relationship with yourself, but also with people within your circle. In addition to this, in the most serious cases, this mood swing might take you to experience a mild form of bipolarism, a mental disorder that includes emotional hights (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

Have been feeling incredibly sad and you have a loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

Talking about bipolarism and symptoms correlated, if your mood is extremely down and you are struggling to find motivation in things you used to do before, and even the easiest tasks have a strong impact on your emotional and physical wellbeing, then it is recommendable to ask for external support as soon as possible.

Depression is one of the leading causes of disability worldwide and a major contributor to suicide and coronary heart disease.

Do not wait till it becomes an obstacle for your whole life.

It is humanly acceptable to be feeling tired and under pressure at times. External factors make a tremendous contribution to our mental and physical health. Hence you should be seriously looking after yourself, making sure to have enough rest, but first of all, that you are aware of your current psychological state.

Remember, you should always be your own priority, no matter what, as if you are not at peace with yourself you will not find any happiness and stability within the outside world either.

Do not be afraid to ask for help when needed and stop blaming yourself for having hit rock bottom again. It happens.

Life is a cycle, and we all have our ups and downs.

The first step begins with acceptance.

You can embark on a healing journey today only if you accept to have a moment of pause.

There is nothing wrong with it. Allow yourself to slow down when your mind and body ask you to do so.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERFUMES

Posted on 04/08/202103/08/2021 by Coach Adele

Your favourite fragrance can reveal your personality

Perfumes are a real addiction, an essential resource we could not imagine ourselves without; they are something of vital importance that gives a touch of completeness to the wearer – if you think about it, an outfit is not a proper one without a spritz of perfume at the end!

But by what is determined this visceral bond between human beings and fragrances? And how do they relate to people’s personalities?

It is common knowledge that fragrances are used to modulate body odour, but there is much more behind this scientific aspect. In fact, it has been proven how odours are highly potent in affecting various domains of human psychological functioning, ranging from perception and mood to cognitive process and behaviours.

Recent studies suggest that odours could be effective even at concentrations below conscious levels. For example, subthreshold ambient ‘sweet’ odours increase pain tolerance, while a common detergent perfume changes spontaneous cleaning behaviour. Furthermore, results of recent studies show how odours can be involved in various social judgments and human interactions, carrying important biological messages. For instance, new-borns can find their mothers’ nipple by smell, while adults’ judgments and decisions are influenced by the body odour of others who have experienced specific affective states (fear, panic, stress, tension, etc..).

However, it is thought that the principal context in which body odour influences social interactions is within romantic relationships and mate choice, in particular.

It has been proposed that using perfumes serves to indicate cleanliness, social status, and personality. In addition to this, fragrances are frequently considered to enhance sexual attractiveness, and it has been found that they effectively modulate sexual arousal and mood response of women.

Moreover, perfume usage may also have an indirect impact on social perception through changes in the perfume wearer’s self-perception and self-consciousness.

It has been scientifically demonstrated that the use of fragrances can lead to changes in nonverbal behaviours, increasing people’s confidence. It is not a case that several experiments were conducted on both women wearing commercial deodorants and women wearing placebo ones, with the consequence of considering the first category more attractive than the second one.

But let’s now explore the deepest psychological aspect of perfume’s magical world.

As stated by Paul Jellinek, author of Promises to Mary and of The Psychological Basis of Perfumery, people’s mood can be altered by specific fragrances, based on his research on the ancient philosophy of the four elements, which prompting him to publish the study on mood and fragrances.

But how are the four elements linked to the most common fragrances and people’s personalities?

If you are a fan of green, herbal, coniferous, citrus and fresh perfume, you might be falling under the AIR element category. These fresh ingredients support mental activity and instigate the creative cognitive process.

Herbal Perfume — Photo by Alesia Kozik from Pexels

By contrast, if your personality is more into the spicy, fruity, warm and rich ingredients, you belong to the FIRE element. It is believed that these perfume uplifts and reinvigorates its wearers.

Sensual Perfume — Photo by Rovenimagescom from Pexels

The rosy, floral, delicate, soft fragrances, instead, represent the WATER element. Jellinek believed that these perfumes had the ability to reduce anxiety and stress by promoting mental balance.

And to round off, caramel, earthy, sensual and sweet ingredients, represent the EARTH element. These perfume comforts and nurtures the wearer.

Whatever your favourite fragrance is, you will still unconsciously pick the one that better reflects your personality traits, revealing a lot about you.

Perfumes are like mirrors; they are the expression of our own identity and our feelings. And what a great way to communicate with the rest of the world through the sweetest and aromatic notes of the fragrance of your life?

Now, wear the perfume that suits you best, and spread that confidence that you have been hiding for so long!

7 REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO BREAK THE STIGMA OF MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS

Posted on 07/07/202106/07/2021 by Coach Adele

We have been reading about stigma of mental health conditions quite often nowadays.

People are frustrated and exhausted; they are tired of having to keep hiding their own feelings and emotions in a society that is consuming us every day more.

There is an even stronger need of confrontation and support right now, after all the uncertainty and the big changes that the pandemic has involved in many sectors of our everyday life.

But what is exactly a ‘stigma’ and how it affects our mental and physical wellbeing?

A stigma is a sign of unacceptability, the shame or disgraced attached to something defined as ‘socially inadmissible’.

My question to this form of prejudice that has been happening from a lifetime is:

When are we going to reach parity in treating mental health and physical health?

There is much talk about it, but only a few facts and little concrete actions, in fact recent studies on mental health statistics in the UK have proven that only a 36.2% of people suffering from a mental health disease get treated for it.

And do you know why this happens? Some people take longer to realise the stage of their psychological conditions, others believe that they can handle their personal problems on their own, however the main reason of it is due to an excessive worry of social contexts and people’s assumptions – how shameful!

We live in the 21^st Century and we still have to face and tolerate the hypocrisy and the abuses from those who take freedom to bully and to marginalise the weakest ones for the sheer pleasure of feeling powerful and almighty.

Stop Bullying — Photo by Rodnae Productions from Pexels

This is unbearable if you think about those suffering from any other physical illness, like diabetes, cancer, chronic or heart disease, and how these cases are fairly considered by society.

Nevertheless, there are still countless ‘silent diseases’, such as anxiety, panic disorders, phobias, PTSD, schizophrenia, OCD and many others which are still identified as ‘less serious’ or, even worse, described with a derogatory language.

This is extremely alarming knowing the immense power of our mind, capable of taking over us, easily making any mental disease a physical disability in a short period of time if not treated properly.

Therefore, I have decided to write this article to support this cause, and to offer my help to those struggling with mental health diseases, with the only aim of breaking the stigma of psychological conditions, by inviting you to reflect on the importance of talking openly about it.

You may be wondering now why would you sharing your personal experiences with a stranger who does not have nothing to do with you and with your own life?

Good point, however no one is forcing you to do this, unless you understand how incredible the impact of your action would be, not only on yourself but also on other people’s mental health.

When I was younger, I was a victim of this system too, and even the thought of being judged or unfairly labelled and excluded by my peers was terrifying me.

I have spent years and years pretending to be someone else, building my own character to better fit the social schemes of my generation, with the consequence of forgetting completely who I was and what I wanted in my life.

Be You — Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels

But then I reached a point when I realised that this ongoing hiding was not worthy at all, and that I absolutely deserve to be free to be my real self, stop being ashamed of my own feelings and emotions. And if I could go back, I would probably make the same choice again and again, as I am 100 % confident of my own decision and on the implications that this could have not only on my mental and physical wellbeing, but also on my relationships with people around me.

It is extraordinary how a simple and small action can make you feel relieved and reborn, changing completely your whole life and your perception of the outside world.

This is why, now that we are reaching the end of today’s topic, I am going to share with you a 7 Steps Guide I have set for myself as a reminder of the importance of breaking the stigma of Mental Health Conditions.

Whenever you are struggling to let your thoughts out, remember that:

You are free to express yourself without any worries of being judged or wrongly labelled by society.
Talking openly about your mental health illness makes you have a better understanding of where you are right now, analysing the causes and the consequences impacting your emotional state.
It can help not only yourself, but also someone else struggling with a similar condition, as it will encourage other people to talk.
It will change your concept related to your disease, turning it from a negative into a positive one, and you will feel less pressured and anxious about it.
You are not the only person in this room suffering from a mental health condition. 1 out of 6 people in the UK experiences a mental health disease, especially nowadays, due to the pandemic and the impact of it on our lives.
If you decide to stop pretending to be okay, someone else will do the same.
There is nothing wrong with being diagnosed with a mental health condition; it is like any other physical disability, and it can get more severe if not treated properly or if being held for a long time.

Do not let your fears and insecurities dictate your future and your own happiness.

There will always be someone trying to let you down; prejudice and assumptions are part of the human nature; you cannot change this, but you can change your approach to it by making a choice today: you will be no longer impacted by the judgement of people around you.

You have the right to be yourself, expressing your feelings without any shame or fear.

Talk to someone today, let your ‘silent disability’ be heard and have the respect that it deserves.

Girl Happy — Photo by Alena Shekhovtcova from Pexels

HOW HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Posted on 09/06/202108/06/2021 by Coach Adele

What do you know about mindset and what kind of mindset do you think you have? Are you mostly a positive person, always looking for the good side in every situation? Or do you take things negatively, falling at the first hurdle?

Whatever your personality is, your mindset is that supernatural force, the most powerful one that will drive you at every moment of your way. It is your daily fuel, that boundless energy that will determine your own perception and vision of life, based on your beliefs system and on your personal experiences.

But let us now have a look at how our past influences our mindset and our worldview.

What happens in our brain when we absorb our very first information in the childhood?

The early years of a child from 2 to 8 are crucial for the brain’s development, especially at the age of 3. This is when the main architecture of our brain is formed, laying the foundation of our future, and influencing the way we will function later in life.

As you may be aware, children have the capability of absorbing information very easily, with the consequence of developing a sense of being that will mostly be impacted by what they stored during the childhood.

Everything that they consistently experience throughout their early years moulds their vision of themselves and of the rest of the world, structuring their beliefs system.

For instance, if someone is constantly treated with respect, his/her inner belief will be that he/she will give value to him/herself, same for who is continuously put down, starting to think and acting like someone who is worthless and does not deserve happiness.

Over time, these beliefs get stored in our subconscious mind, where is located our long-term memory, guiding the path of our life without us even realising it.

That is when we start to develop our own mindset, that will impact our way of thinking, our feelings and behaviours, our whole concept of life and our assumptions, consequently determining our approach to daily challenges, changes and difficult situations, our personal success, and our relationships with people.

It is all about mindset. As you know, life is unpredictable and it might surprise you at any moment, testing your abilities to adapt to changes and to the most unexpected situations. There is no perfect time; we all have our ups and downs, bad and good days, like there are no rainbows without any storms. What does really matter is how you approach the external circumstances and how you will face every new challenge with positivity and persistence.

It is important to acknowledge that the quality of our life does all depend on us and on our willingness to react to the circumstances in the right way. We can be positive despite the difficulties that we meet every day and win every single battle that will come across our path, or we can end up overwhelmed at the first occasion, letting day-to-day problems controlling our emotional and physical state. The choice is only ours.

There are two main different types of mindset that shape our lives: the Fixed and the Growth one.

“A ‘fixed mindset’ assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled. A ‘growth mindset’, on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities. Out of these two mindsets, which we manifest from a very early age, springs a great deal of our behaviour, our relationship with success and failure in both professional and personal contexts, and ultimately our capacity for happiness.” As mentioned by Carol Dweck, psychologist at Stanford University of California, in of her most remarkably masterpieces Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.

If you find yourself having a Fixed Mindset, it is most likely that you will indulge into your comfort zone, sensing everything that is new and that differs from your usual habits as a sort of threat; by contrast, your Growth Mindset will take you places you have not explored yet, always discovering new skills you were not even aware of. This will also have a significant impact on your whole personality and propension to react to changes.

But is it possible to develop a different mindset throughout our life despite our natural tendency?

Indeed, it is. And I am going to tell you why.

Thanks to Neuroplasticity, it has been scientifically proven that the human brain has a huge capability of flexibility and reorganization because of individual neuron pathways making new connections and to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping. Examples of neuroplasticity include circuit and network changes that result from learning a new ability, environmental influences, practice, and psychological stress.

This is an incredible discovery as it means that if you are no longer satisfied with your current life and you would like to achieve better results you can work on restructuring your beliefs system, adopting a completely new vision and approach to a better future.

The first thing, and the most important one that you should do is to increase your awareness, understanding that each external event is not the reason for your personal dissatisfaction and for your unhappiness: your mindset is! And if you will switch your energy into a more positive one, adopting a Growth Mindset, your whole life will turn into an ocean of possibilities and successes. No matter the obstacles that will stand in your way and how many stumbling blocks you will encounter along your path; you will not lose your drive and that motivation that brought you here. Actually, you will accept each new opportunity to keep learning new things, constantly expanding your level of knowledge and your ability to overcome the difficulties.

Mindset — Photo by Designecologist from Pexels

You will no longer feel overloaded or under pressure and you will take everything with more ease.

I have learnt at my expenses that I cannot limit myself for fear of making mistakes and that it is never too late to develop new skills and increase my level of education. I have learnt that if I start my day with a ‘can do’ attitude I will have more chances to achieve the goals that I have previously set, instead of doubting and underestimating myself. And I have also realised that if I look at the good aspect of things, I will approach each new challenge in the right way, feeling mentally and physically healthier.

We are what we think. It is not just a figure of speech. It is a state of mind.

THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE AND HOW TO PRACTISE IT

Posted on 26/05/202125/05/2021 by Coach Adele

We tend to spend most of our personal life focusing on the negativity, rather than appreciating the good side of things and making the most of every single moment.

It is incredible how twisted human nature is, when it could be so easy to use and transform our energy into something positive each time we encounter a new obstacle.

I keep wondering why we always wait for the storm to begin before seeing the sun and starting to absorb the warmth and joy emanated by the power of such a supreme, cosmic force.

Why do we have to fall ill or lose our loved ones to get strong enough and be able to live our life to the fullest, rather than just surviving and waiting for another day to go by?

We hear of many people who almost died and radically changed their vision and values only after a coma or a family loss, whilst at the same time, the most disadvantaged ones keep surprising us with genuine smiles and simple gestures.

Why does this happen? We live in a society that consumes us, drowning us in its corruption and false ideals. And this continuous desire to possess excessively turned us into some perpetually unhappy creatures, constantly looking for what we do not know or what we do not have yet.

It is right in this scenario of general dissatisfaction that we should all make some efforts to face a change, beginning by the way we think first, following by how we live. This is possible thanks to the power of gratitude.

Gratitude 1 — Photo by Lola Russian from Pexels

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is going to sleep every night and waking up in the morning with a relaxed face and that expression of joy and positive attitude, appreciating the simplest things and being grateful even for being alive in this world.

Gratitude is a small action but of great value that has the infinite power to change your whole perception of life and external events.

It is innate within our spirit, but many people do not know that as they have not discovered this energy yet.

You do own it and you should use this incredible gift as of right now.

As I keep saying in my blog articles: time is the most precious resource we have. Do not wait for the worst to happen before making the most of it.

Why have I decided to talk about this topic today?

Because I am the first one who has experienced this myself, and I perfectly know how gratitude can change your life in a flash.

It took me 29 years before realising that I was not feeling alive, but I was only living my days like if I was doing somebody else a favour. I know this is not the most positive and motivating line to read, but let’s be honest…I am sure I am not the only one in this room!

All I want right now is to be an open book with you.

I am tired to hide my feelings and emotions for fear of being judged, and I want my stories to be able to help you developing a more positive way of thinking, because I do truthfully care about you.

Said that, I will now give you three important tips on how to start practicing gratitude if you are going through depression and you do not know how to get over it:

Familiarise yourself with what is a ‘Gratitude Journal’ and start filling your personal one every evening before going to sleep, and in the morning, as soon as you are awake

Gratitude Journal — Photo by Jess Bailey from Pexels

Though it could appear as banal, it has been scientifically proven that writing a list of positive actions can help you to switch the focus on the positivity aspect of life; same as the use of positive affirmations, a gratitude journal can be extremely beneficial on your mental health. If you are consistent and you do really want to get better, I would suggest you fill out yours one, both day and night. This way you will go to sleep and wake up already in a positive state of mind, with a great determination and with a positive intention.

Dust off your old hobbies or find some new ones to keep yourself occupied with something you enjoy

If you suffer from depression you do not really have enough energy and motivation to carry on your daily tasks. I know how hard it can be when you do not even want to get out of bed and get dressed in the morning. But if you follow my first advice, after one or two weeks (depending on which stadium of depression you are currently in) it is more likely that you will already start to experience a feeling of wellbeing. Trust me, focusing on the positive things in your life, you will get up with another angle, a new you with a new aura, willing to take on new challenges and opportunities, especially if you have the chance to do something that you enjoy.

Be grateful and appreciative every day, but do never lose that drive and that desire for accomplishment

It is important that you do learn how to express gratitude, but without losing your vision and desire to redeem yourself. Setting goals is part of our personal growth and it is what makes us feel stronger and valuable, challenging our own fears and insecurities. Keep this in mind if you want to progress in your life – and I am 100 % confident you want this – even if everything seems to be falling apart right now and you are struggling to see the positive aspect of things.

Remember, life is just one, and it is here and now. You tend to forget about it so often that you can barely take some time for yourself, appreciating the present moment.

But how long do you want to keep having the same routine?

If you want beautiful things to happen to you, you must learn how to appreciate what you already have first. Stop letting yourself be carried away by external events and start living your day as if it was the last one. Life is the most precious gift the universe has given to us, together with time.

And since your time does not go back, you should change your approach to life and start enjoying a bit more what you have and the simplest and the noblest gestures.

Be grateful — Photo by Elina Sazonova from Pexels

SUMMER 2021: THE CHOICE OF THE COLOUR TRENDS OF THE SEASON AND WHAT THEY REPRESENT

Posted on 28/04/202127/04/2021 by Coach Adele

Summer is upon us, and finally, after so long, you can sense a feeling of optimism in the air.

Restrictions have been eased, people are meeting up again and the weather is delighting us with amazing sunny days.

But how does this “going back to normal” translate to clothes?

As you can imagine, last year has been pretty challenging for the fashion industry – as for every other environment – with many changes and innovations, not only from a stylistic point of view, but also from a marketing perspective. The digital world has taken over, revolutionising entirely the international Fashion Weeks.

With the new ‘Work From Home’ routine, the loungewear has become the unexpected biggest trend of fashion 2020, together with a new proposal of fantastical fashion. Frothy dresses, mood-boosting prints and bright and soothing colours that take inspiration from natural elements have been selected with the aim of giving people a sense of hope and positivity.

“When the grey clouds disperse, we see the sunshine” says Pantone’s executive director, Leatrice Eiseman. And this is how the transformation from the Ultimate Grey evolves to a radiant yellow hue, Illuminating, protagonist of a new life after a tumultuous year. These two shades are usually paired together to convey a message of stability and unity.

But what about the hot Pink Cosmos, which is one of the most popular colour trends of spring 2021, capturing the attention of everyone for the vitality that transmits? We have seen it literally everywhere, from the Grammy Awards red carpet to the Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. This colour has certainly stood out from the rest for his vibrant, uplifting and flirtatious touch.

Valentino - Dolce & Gabbana — Valentino – Dolce & Gabbana

Together with the brightest tones, designers have decided to readapt the use of Cherry Red – one of the major colour trends of Winter 2019 – to give a bit of romance to the upcoming season, combined with a dominant and fiery character, the ideal choice after the current uncertainty.

Many people have lost not only their main occupation during lockdown, but also their confidence and personal balance. Thus, the powerful presence of vivid colours this year, to communicate strength and courage to the wearer, combined with the use of Burnt Orange and Buttery Cream tones.

Ermanno Scervino & Lanvin 1 — Ermanno Scervino & Lanvin

But, as every spring and summer season has its pastel shades, 2021 runways could not be more fresh and sparkling thanks to the careful search for relaxing nuances after the neon colours we saw earlier. This is why the fashion trends of the year end with a wide selection of green and blue, such as Mint, Aquamarine, Avocado, Pistachio, Seafoam, etc.

Ulla Johnson & Boss 1 — Ulla Johnson & Boss

Once again, the most prestigious designers like Versace, Alberta Ferretti, Armani, Boss, Ferragamo, Miu Miu, etc surprise us with their unique and refined creations, proposing on the catwalk something that reflects reality and contemporary society.

Style is not pure coincidence. As I mentioned in my previous articles, fashion is a mirror, it is a voice, the expression of modernity. You have to know how to interpret it to understand the message that trends release. And 2021 surely will be a memorable historic moment for all of us, not only because of a virus that has left a mark on our everyday lives, but also for the feelings and the energy that are conveyed to us by the entire world of fashion.

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE PANDEMIC

Posted on 21/04/202119/04/2021 by Coach Adele

It has been already one year since the pandemic hit us, radically changing our way of being and our own lives. But, if you think about it, it seems yesterday when we were pestered by continuous news about Covid-19, first in China and then, gradually spreading all over the world.

Who would have predicted this virus would have affected us so dramatically?

It is incredible how negatively it has impacted not only the economy of the whole planet, but also human interactions and, not to mention about people’s mental health.

At times it felt like I was being run over by a train at full speed. And I am sure most of you might know what I am talking about.

Yes, I mean you, reading this article, hoping to find someone who has been going through the same storm as you are. Others some more, others some less, we have been all overwhelmed by this tragic event.

Many people have been made redundant, have lost family members and their loved ones, some have left the UK, moving back to their countries of origin, and so many couples have separated. In short, it has been a real catastrophe. And it is not over yet!

But today, I would like to share my personal experience with you, and I hope this will help you to feel understood and that it will encourage you not to give up. Because I know it is not easy to cope with your own thoughts when it seems like everything is coming apart.

Till February 2021 I had the perfect life. I had a job that I loved, amazing friends and so many reasons to be happy. It was too great to be real. I still remember how often I closed my eyes, wondering if I was just dreaming of if it was all true, having to deal with anxiety since I was a kid.

But, apparently, my own wars were not over yet. Covid has invaded my personal balance, and it has been like a nightmare.

I was furloughed for 6 long months which – although not extremely hard at the very beginning – became a struggle with each passing day. All my traumas from the past came to a head when I had a panic attack on the tube. And so, anxiety knocked on my door once again, after so long, and I got ill.

It has been tough having to accept it, as I thought my mental illness was just a bad distant memory, but I was wrong. Because, believe it or not, if you are a sensitive person, you will always be predisposed to suffer from anxiety, even after years. There will be a single incident that will jog something loose in your mind, and it will easily get out of control.

I went back to work in the middle of my panic disorder for two months, before being furloughed again, and my frantic run towards an endless tunnel begun.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood & Maisa Borges from Pexels

I was terrified of the thought of another lockdown alone in a foreign country. I needed my family, I could not cope with that alone, not at that time. Thus, I decided to go back home for a while, and so I booked the last flight to Italy before the borders were closed, and I stayed there for a while.

My fixed appointments with panic attacks kept recurring often, even if I kept hiding my feelings, pretending it was all good, lying not only to my parents and to my friends, but also to myself. And it was just then that I decided I had to do something to fight my own battles. I had to study the brain to have a better understanding of what was going on with my mind. I wanted to be able to solve my own problems, and to help other people struggling with the same illnesses one day.

And that is how Dressed From Within was born, combining my passion for fashion and my personal experiences with psychology and my natural tendency to support those in need.

Over a three month period, I took a course in Fashion and Styling and another one in Life Coaching, before immersing myself in the fascinating world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and then I started to work on my website. In the meanwhile, a new vacancy as a Team Leader on my current job was opened, and I thought I should go for it.

Once again, I needed a big change, and I had to face my own fears to survive and to be able to live again.

I was still on furlough when I decided I had to come back to London, as I felt every day more insecure and fragile, despite everything I was doing to cope with anxiety and all my personal goals.

And it was just when I set foot into the underground again that I realised I was completely out of control and that I needed some help. Social anxiety is like an impetuous shadow that follows you everywhere you go when you leave your place and you are surrounded by people. Those suffering from the same illness know what I am talking about. And it is terrible because it leads you to isolate yourself from social contexts, no matter how friendly you are and how much you love human interactions. It changes your personality completely, making you vulnerable and depressed.

And this is how I started to feel at some point. I was tired, frustrated, hopeless. I had no more strength to fight as the more I was trying to cope with my anxiety, the more I was hit by panic attacks. I was about to give up on my dreams, on my goals and on my project. I felt like my studies were not helping me as I hoped they would.

Thus, one day I convinced myself that I had to ask for help, and so I did. And I will never regret my choice, as it made me realise that I am not alone and that I have all the resources I need to face my own wars.

On the first of April 2021, I launched my own business as an Image Consultant and Empowerment Coach, and shortly after, I got the incredible news that I passed that job interview and I got promoted as a Team Leader at my current workplace. I would be lying if I told you that the fact that I had to go back to work did not scare me. Till a couple of weeks ago, I was not even able to take the tube due to panic disorders.

But I did go to the office on my first day and I was still panicking the first week, that I thought I would not pull it off, as I could barely breathe, and I was struggling to cope with those chronic stomach cramps.

And now I am here, happier than ever to have won one of the most traumatic battles of my life, I am proud of myself and of my courage, that bravery that has never left me, even when I thought I was failing and that I did not have any more reason for hope.

To be fully honest, it has not been easy to share my recent experience with you right now, as it is still fresh and vivid in my mind, but I thought I should talk about it to make you feel less alone and to encourage you to keep fighting.

Holding hands — Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

You are not weak if you suffer from mental illness. And you are not a loser if you ask for help. You are more special and unique than you think. Trust me, you would not be anxious if you did not have that deep perception of things. Panic would not suck your energy and your every breath if you were not so perfectionist and considerate. And depression would not destroy you if you were not the sensitive human being that you are.

Because, whether you realize it or not, you are incredible and you are capable of everything you want!

Do not lose that faith, never ever! As it will be what will give you the strength to move on and what will make you believe in yourself again, when you least expect it. And that is exactly what happened to me.

I hope that my story would help you to see a glimmer of light in that dark room you have been hiding. Remember, you are stronger than you think. Never doubt that.

Mental Health — Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels

WHAT DO YOU DRESS FOR?

Posted on 14/04/202111/04/2021 by Coach Adele

Do you dress to be noticed? You like to be in the spotlight when everybody stares at you with that typical expression of envy or perhaps of genuine admiration on their face. It makes you feel unique, strong, powerful.

Or, by contrast, do you dress in a certain way to avoid people’s judgment and any sort of negative comment? Gossip puts pressure on you, making you nervous and uncomfortable.

Either way, your style reveals a lot about your personality, combined with your posture and body language. However, sometimes the clothes you wear become a proper shield that protects you from external factors, hiding your real identity or making it more acceptable by society or even by yourself.

When I was younger, I went through a huge variety of different styles, hair colours and haircuts, all concomitantly with my emotional state of that moment.

There was a part of me constantly seeking validation, and another one that could not tolerate any form of criticism and assumptions at all.

This has made me suffer a lot, with my two personalities always contradictory between each other, not knowing who I had to listen to and which belief I should have gotten rid of.

Photo by **Masha Raymers** from **Pexels**

In both cases, I was not being myself. I was just living my life, making my own choices based on other people’s opinions and stereotypes.

Have you ever heard of Compulsive Approval-Seeking? A compulsive approval-seeking behaviour is generated by a low self-esteem. This sense of inferiority arises from many factors. Some relate to your personality, while others stem from external influences such as your upbringing, cultural experiences, education, and work life.

In my 13, when I was at Secondary School, I knew that to be popular and to be accepted by my school mates I had to wear make-up, a new pair of Adidas Gazzelle and the latest fashion trends, to not forget the unmissable leather jacket that everyone used to have.

The concept of ‘dress to be appreciated’, with the passing of time, became unconsciously a real belief in my mind, influencing my persona, my behaviours and my whole life.

As wrong as it could be, I have always thought that I had to look nice for others first, rather than for myself, and that I had to keep up with the role models proposed by TV, magazines and by mass media in order to be fully integrated into the social system, an altogether nonsensical concept!

It took me more than 15 years before realising that I did not even know who I was, what I like and who I wanted to be. Imagine the massive impact that society has on people’s lifestyle and mental health!

But I am not here to talk about myself.

I am here to talk about you, instead, as I would like to help you, through my own experience, to find your own identity, in order to increase your level of confidence and self-esteem. Thus, you will have a better understanding of what you are passionate about, what is that makes you feel good, and what does your dream life look like.

While reading this article, I would like you to take some time to fully focus on the clothes you are currently wearing.

Does your outfit reflect your personality? Or is it based on the influence of someone else’s preferences, social media, and more generically, of the social environment?

Be honest with yourself, though.

I want you to look at that mirror, wondering if you really think you know that woman in front of you. Is she familiar to you? Or is she a perfect stranger?

Photo by **Ismael Sanchez** from **Pexels**

You, and only you can know the answer.

Most people see fashion as something trivial that does not determine someone’s personality, but today I want to dispel a myth, as it is the exact opposite.

Sometimes the most extravagant minds dress flashy to get attention as seeking constant validations. They are not confident enough within themselves, so they need approval from others.

Occasionally, if you are shy, you would prefer to be reserved, not showing a lot about yourself, keeping a more neutral style that could make you feel comfortable and less under pressure.

But, let me tell you something. In both cases, you would not be happy as you would not be real. You would suffer inwardly as you won’t be free to express who you are as too scared and affected by people’s judgments.

Therefore, the moral of this story is still the same: get to know your nature and learn how to give yourself the right values that you deserve. No one else will do it for you.

If you do not love yourself first, you will keep waiting for someone to compliment you with the usual ‘useless flatteries’ that you have been hearing for ages.

Nice words are only a rebound from a sense of emptiness that depends nothing but on yourself.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COLOURS

Posted on 24/03/202131/03/2021 by Coach Adele

The power of human brain is boundless. It is like a vast machine, the most complicated one, perpetually in motion, that never fails to surprise us with its continuous discoveries and new incredible shades we did not even glimpsed a hint of before.

And it is right in this scenario that psychology makes its own appearance, becoming a real protagonist of our lives; it is everywhere, in any context and circumstance, behind the meaning of every action, feeling and human behaviour.

Talking about fashion – because this is why you came across my blog today, I would like to introduce you to a deeper nuance that, most likely, you have not considered before, while wearing your favourite dress or suit, that I personally find truly fascinating: the psychology of colours.

I know it may seem bizarre, but colours are clearly part of us; they are our companions of adventures.

Every day, they take us on a new journey, from our 8 hours shift at work to our night out with our friends or partner; and then they leave us in the comfort of our living room where, while watching our favourite movie, we enjoy our glass of wine before going to sleep.

As you can imagine, each colour has its own history, its origin and its why.

Colours have a spirit, a soul which embodies unmistakable emotions.

Most of the times, when we wear a garment of a specific colour, we assume it is the right one for us, because of the harmonic combination with our skin tone, eyes and hair shape, but we do not actually wonder what is that really makes that colour so special and unique, what message it is trying to communicate, and what is the best occasion for which that colour is suitable.

In my 28, I have worn black too often to start getting sickened by it, since not a long time ago, during my studies of fashion and styling, I have discovered the incredible relations with psychology and people personalities that it contains.

Let’s now start to make a more accurate analysis of this thematic!

I promise, I will reveal you all the secrets I know behind each colour (well, not all of them as there are countless tones generated by the mix between primary, secondary and tertiary colours* – we will embrace the most important ones or, at least the colours we tend to use the most every season), making this journey into fashion even more tempting and exciting.

*Primary Colours: blue, red and yellow.

Secondary Colours are those created by the combination of the Primary ones. Tertiary Colours, instead, are the result of the mix between the Primary and the Secondary ones.

Because I have just mentioned my obsession with black, I will begin with it:

Black

POC - 4 — Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

For those who have never thought about it, besides its reducing effects (very useful if you are overweight), black has got a mysterious and enigmatic characteristic.

It represents the absence of light, and therefore it is associated with the night and anything that is hidden.

Dressing in black may indicate that the wearer is feeling lonely and isolated; perhaps someone who is suffering of depression, thus unable to communicate with people or having a social life.

In intimate clothing, black represents a lack of confidence in ability to relate to others, keeping feelings hidden or secretly wanting to be like someone else.

Isn’t it absurd?

Thinking about my adolescence and my time in High School, I may have been very frustrated to be dressing like a punk with my inimitable outfit – all black – and my half-shaved head (I still remember that hairstyle and my mother’s reaction when she first saw me coming back home like that!).

All kidding aside and no offence to Punks (I will always have a thing for Punk style), I still have a huge variety of black garments in my wardrobe, but I do not really define myself as an antisocial.

Grey

Although grey is an inconspicuous colour, it can also symbolise success, stability, inspiration and creativity. It is a real expression of class, elegance and respect, but it can also represent grief in the past or old age.

POC - 5 — Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

White

Open to the surrounding energy, white has always communicated a feeling of purity and cleanliness. Bear in mind that it has an enlarging effect, therefore many people try to avoid it as it can expand figures. It can build trust and approachability.

In underwear, white is a conventional colour as it portrays innocence.

Red

POC - 6 — Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Red is a high-energy colour, especially if worn in darker tones. It gives a feeling of strength and personal power.

Dressing in red on the upper body conveys a sense of being daring, bold, willing to be adventurous. Be careful though! A livelier red might indicate that the wearer is unpredictable and impulsive, without much forethought when it relates to what she wants!

In lingerie, red expresses pleasure and a free and passionate sexuality without any form of inhibitions or limitations.

Orange

Orange is the ideal colour to be worn on vacation, and therefore, less indicate in business environments, where serious responsibilities are required.

However, it is a very optimistic colour that surely gives confidence to the wearer, representing transition, exchange of ideas and desire for renewal.

Because of its carefree disposition, in lingerie it tends to show a release of sexual tensions, preparing the wearer to enjoy a balanced, healthy and fun sex life.

It is definitely recommended in pyjamas or in bed sheets to women who have difficulties becoming pregnant and are more anxious or under pressure.

Yellow

POC - 8 — Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels

Talking about positive colours, yellow truly is one of those.

It communicates that the wearer is currently experiencing something new, an exceptional event in life or psychological freedom.

It resonates with the mental plane and it can be very helpful when dealing with a new project or goal.

A woman who dresses in yellow underwear may be going through a phase in personal relationships, either emotional or sexual, guided primarily by her thoughts and clearly able to choose what she wants and what suits her better.

Violet

POC - 9 — Photo by Anni Roenkae from Pexels

Violet is a mystic and religious colour, especially in deeper and purple tones. It also represents asexuality, as it is preferred by the elderly, children, pregnant women and the ones who practice chastity.

It is the colour of the disconnection with the material, therefore it is not advisable if you are suffering of depression, as it can cause feelings of isolation and overactive imagination.

This can also be reflected in lingerie, representing the wearer as someone who idealises images of people and fantasies not met in reality.

Pink

As you can imagine, pink is a soft, delicate and extremely feminine colour, thus preferably used in clothing from women. It communicates innocence and emotional immaturity if worn in an older age, representing a romantic and dreamy personality.

Dressing pink means that the wearer is looking for a long-term relationship or, ideally, for something more lasting than the usual one night stand.

Because of its delicate tones, pink also attracts men with an innate sense of protection and caring.

In lingerie, it is the ideal colour for women who prefer more affectionate and innocent sexual relationships, looking for a softer approach.

Earth colours

Earth colours are coffee, browns and nude tones. Usually worn when expressing the necessity of a deeper connection with ourselves, therefore those who favourite these tones are self-focused and not willing to attract attention from others.

It signifies a need to balance the energy of the physical body, a desire of connection with the earth, the more material and tangible.

A woman wearing coffee tones is usually focused on her career progression, possibly going through economic difficulties or in material need.

In lingerie, it represents a sense of disharmony between the emotional and the sexual body, therefore it is not recommended.

Green

Dark green defines a person of refined tastes, quiet and reserved.

In the 1800s, it was the colour used to label people who were considered insane.

However, as most of you may already know, it was re-evaluated and identified as Mental Health awareness’ symbol of excellence (the green ribbon).

This is also why a brighter or lighter green on the upper body reflects that the wearer is going through a healing process, when there is need for rest and time out, especially after a recent relationship break up. In this case, it can also signify that the wearer is not ready to start a new one.

Green underwear also indicates healing, either emotional, physical or sexual.

Turquoise

POC - 13 — Photo by Julie Aagaard from Pexels

It is a summer colour and the ideal one to be worn in sunny environments.

Thinking about turquoise, I am pretty sure most of you, like myself, may already sense a feeling of freshness and relaxation.

In underwear, it represents freedom and tranquillity. It is also a youthful colour.

Blue

POC - 14 — Photo by Johannes Plenio from Pexels

Blue conveys security, strength, and sometimes dominance. It is the colour or royalty and ideal for exercising authority. In general, a woman who dresses in blue clearly wants to be respected by others, as it is a colour of distinction, honour and justice.

It is the ideal one to be worn on special occasions, when an important announcement needs to be done and you want to be heard from people around you.

In underwear, it can communicate a feeling of peacefulness.

It is incredible thinking about the numerous unique facets hiding behind every single colour, so many that it would be impossible to go through each one of them.

It is really interesting though, trying to understand the meaning of things, the psychological aspect which is in every environment and in our everyday lives.

It is also funny how much fashion and colour can tell about ourselves, reflecting our personalities, our strengths and insecurities, as if we were an open book.

Have you ever thought about it?

I personally have not. However, when I came across this topic, I found it extremely fascinating, as it has completely changed my vision and concept about colours.

I hope after this article you won’t rush into a de-cluttering process, renewing your wardrobe because of all the notions you have just absorbed.

I would like just to remind you that the information provided in these paragraphs are completely generic and that it is not my intent to make any sort of assumption about your style, your taste of fashion and your favourite colours.

We are all different and unique in our freedom of expression of ourselves and our essence.

PSYCHOLOGY AND FASHION – ARE THEY LINKED?

Posted on 17/03/202131/03/2021 by Coach Adele

Have you ever thought about the impact that psychology has on people’s behaviours, habits, vision and values, and how it then reverberates completely throughout our everyday life?

And have you ever seen fashion as a sort of mirror that reflects our personalities, our past experiences and who we are today?

You have come across my blog right now probably because you like to go deeper and deeper, constantly looking for what is beneath the mainstream surface, a reason that could possibly explain why things are a certain way.

And that is why, through this article, I am inviting you to disconnect from the idea you have always had about fashion and style as ‘simple clothing and nothing else’, introducing you to a more complex concept of it: we are what we wear!

Believe it or not, the entire world of fashion is connected to psychology and people’s mental health more than you could have ever imagined.

Fashion is not only an art. It is the freedom of soul, a real expression of ourselves and our emotions.

How many times did you feel unique, powerful, desired and in the spotlight while proudly sporting the dress of your dreams, the one you always wanted to wear? Did you not experience excitement, good vibes, and a particular sense of power?

And how often did you hear people or magazines talking about the common and effective retail therapy? Which, as incorrect as it may be (in the medical and psychotherapeutic field it is not an actual therapy, and in addition to it, spending money and busy shops can be stressful at times), it has statistically proven to have a positive impact on our brain and personal well-being, as long as it does not lead to a compulsive buying disorder and you do not exceed on shopping.

But, what does exactly happen in our mind when we do something for ourselves simply to feel better within our consciousness? When we generate positive thoughts, our brain starts producing serotonin, creating a feeling of happiness, peace and calm. *

*For those who have never come across this before, Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and it is commonly known as a ‘happy hormone’, together with Dopamine (important part of the brain’s reward system), Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’, and Endorphins (our body’s natural pain reliever).

By contrast, in the experience of anxiety and depression, we tend to dedicate less time looking after our wellness and our image, ending up not caring enough about our person, our body, and in the worst-case scenario, about our whole life.

Fashion & Psychology 3 — Photo by Francesca Zama from pexels

Have you ever awakened in the morning in the most absolute negativity? It’s a new day but you are impassive, and you feel completely apathetic, responding with inertia. And you get on with it, just because this is what you should do. But the truth is that deep down you know that the only thing you want is to be left in peace and to hibernate from the rest world.

Did it happen to you? Well, I guess so, at least once in your life.

And did you dress up on that occasion? Did you wear make-up? Did you tie up your hair, as usual?

I remember, when I was going through a breakdown a few years ago, I did not even take off my pyjamas, as I was so sick and depressed. Do you feel it is a justifiable reaction that we use to cope with that specific emotional state? And would you act in a similar manner under these circumstances?

I know some people have the ability to take life lightly, facing each challenge with an astonishing amount of courage and an enviable tenacity, like if it was another great opportunity to prove how brave and determined they are.

A striking example of this is one of my mother’s historical friends, an incredibly strong woman that has always wanted to get noticed for her eccentric and extravagant style, led by an extremely strong personality. She has been fighting against cancer for her whole life, travelling all over the world, looking for the right treatment and medication that could at least relieve the pain that she has been carrying on with her for all those years. Many times, she was told she would not make it or that she would have had just a couple of months left. However, I have not seen her even once without her long blond wig, her showy rings and accessories, complemented by her inevitable heavy make-up.

She is a real example and a role model to me, a great woman full of life that would fight against all odds to win each battle that might show up.

Following the theory of ‘looking good to feel good’ is advisable, not only when going through a tough time. It should be kept as a permanent state of mind instead, as a law that cannot be broken, no matter what. *

Fashion & Psychology - Looking Good to Feel Good — Photo by Sam Lion from Pexels

*In the COVID-19 pandemic, mental health professionals have been encouraging those working from home to make sure that they would have followed the same morning routines as usual (having a shower, getting dressed, wearing make-up, etc..) as to get ready for the day. It feels you with a sense of purpose with a natural state of preparedness and determination. This advice was not so people could look good for others, but an effective way to naturally feel good about themselves.

I would also recommend having a couple of strategic outfits in your wardrobe that can make you feel unique and powerful. You should save them for special occasions for when external factors are negatively affecting you, as if life was sending you messages that what you are doing at the moment is not quite right and you should acknowledge it. These strategic outfits will aid you in taking extra care of yourself, by empowering your emotional well-being and promoting your mental confidence.

But let’s now have a deeper look at how psychology reflects on human behaviours, posture and body language, and people’s style.

Have you ever noticed that more introverted people tend not to show much about themselves by keeping a basic and neutral style, generally hunching their shoulders inward, both when sitting and standing?

By contrast, confident personalities dress for success, looking impeccable most of the times through a unique attention to details. These people make eye contact when engaging a conversation with a pitch and distinct tone of voice, having a great posture and steady head.

As you can see, fashion plays a significant role in who we are and in our lifestyle.

You can tell many things by the way people dress, the way they act, by their unconscious attitudes, approaches and habits, even by the way they walk.

A brisk walking pace speaks volumes about our level of self-confidence. It shows determination and a high self-esteem, attracting those around us and spreading positive energy to the whole surrounding environment.

Thus, psychology holds immense power on our everyday lives, affecting who we are, our choices and our mental health.

A bit of simple advice I would like to give you today, is to avoid taking life too seriously.

Try to picture it as if it was a wardrobe. I am sure most of you might do a bit of de-cluttering from time to time, preparing for the season change or even just for emotional needs, organising clothes by getting rid of things you no longer need and replacing them with the latest trends. Why not trying to do the same with your own limiting beliefs, cleaning your mind from each negative thought that is preventing you from making your dreams come true and from becoming who you want to be?

If it is not your intention to live for the day, to not be overtaken by external events and circumstances, make sure you do the same with fashion: simplify, select your garments, be unique and dress every day to impress!

Category: Psychology