Coach Adele

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE PANDEMIC

Posted on 21/04/202119/04/2021 by Coach Adele

It has been already one year since the pandemic hit us, radically changing our way of being and our own lives. But, if you think about it, it seems yesterday when we were pestered by continuous news about Covid-19, first in China and then, gradually spreading all over the world.

Who would have predicted this virus would have affected us so dramatically?

It is incredible how negatively it has impacted not only the economy of the whole planet, but also human interactions and, not to mention about people’s mental health.

At times it felt like I was being run over by a train at full speed. And I am sure most of you might know what I am talking about.

Yes, I mean you, reading this article, hoping to find someone who has been going through the same storm as you are. Others some more, others some less, we have been all overwhelmed by this tragic event.

Many people have been made redundant, have lost family members and their loved ones, some have left the UK, moving back to their countries of origin, and so many couples have separated. In short, it has been a real catastrophe. And it is not over yet!

But today, I would like to share my personal experience with you, and I hope this will help you to feel understood and that it will encourage you not to give up. Because I know it is not easy to cope with your own thoughts when it seems like everything is coming apart.

Till February 2021 I had the perfect life. I had a job that I loved, amazing friends and so many reasons to be happy. It was too great to be real. I still remember how often I closed my eyes, wondering if I was just dreaming of if it was all true, having to deal with anxiety since I was a kid.

But, apparently, my own wars were not over yet. Covid has invaded my personal balance, and it has been like a nightmare.

I was furloughed for 6 long months which – although not extremely hard at the very beginning – became a struggle with each passing day. All my traumas from the past came to a head when I had a panic attack on the tube. And so, anxiety knocked on my door once again, after so long, and I got ill.

It has been tough having to accept it, as I thought my mental illness was just a bad distant memory, but I was wrong. Because, believe it or not, if you are a sensitive person, you will always be predisposed to suffer from anxiety, even after years. There will be a single incident that will jog something loose in your mind, and it will easily get out of control.

I went back to work in the middle of my panic disorder for two months, before being furloughed again, and my frantic run towards an endless tunnel begun.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood & Maisa Borges from Pexels

I was terrified of the thought of another lockdown alone in a foreign country. I needed my family, I could not cope with that alone, not at that time. Thus, I decided to go back home for a while, and so I booked the last flight to Italy before the borders were closed, and I stayed there for a while.

My fixed appointments with panic attacks kept recurring often, even if I kept hiding my feelings, pretending it was all good, lying not only to my parents and to my friends, but also to myself. And it was just then that I decided I had to do something to fight my own battles. I had to study the brain to have a better understanding of what was going on with my mind. I wanted to be able to solve my own problems, and to help other people struggling with the same illnesses one day.

And that is how Dressed From Within was born, combining my passion for fashion and my personal experiences with psychology and my natural tendency to support those in need.

Over a three month period, I took a course in Fashion and Styling and another one in Life Coaching, before immersing myself in the fascinating world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and then I started to work on my website. In the meanwhile, a new vacancy as a Team Leader on my current job was opened, and I thought I should go for it.

Once again, I needed a big change, and I had to face my own fears to survive and to be able to live again.

I was still on furlough when I decided I had to come back to London, as I felt every day more insecure and fragile, despite everything I was doing to cope with anxiety and all my personal goals.

And it was just when I set foot into the underground again that I realised I was completely out of control and that I needed some help. Social anxiety is like an impetuous shadow that follows you everywhere you go when you leave your place and you are surrounded by people. Those suffering from the same illness know what I am talking about. And it is terrible because it leads you to isolate yourself from social contexts, no matter how friendly you are and how much you love human interactions. It changes your personality completely, making you vulnerable and depressed.

And this is how I started to feel at some point. I was tired, frustrated, hopeless. I had no more strength to fight as the more I was trying to cope with my anxiety, the more I was hit by panic attacks. I was about to give up on my dreams, on my goals and on my project. I felt like my studies were not helping me as I hoped they would.

Thus, one day I convinced myself that I had to ask for help, and so I did. And I will never regret my choice, as it made me realise that I am not alone and that I have all the resources I need to face my own wars.

On the first of April 2021, I launched my own business as an Image Consultant and Empowerment Coach, and shortly after, I got the incredible news that I passed that job interview and I got promoted as a Team Leader at my current workplace. I would be lying if I told you that the fact that I had to go back to work did not scare me. Till a couple of weeks ago, I was not even able to take the tube due to panic disorders.

But I did go to the office on my first day and I was still panicking the first week, that I thought I would not pull it off, as I could barely breathe, and I was struggling to cope with those chronic stomach cramps.

And now I am here, happier than ever to have won one of the most traumatic battles of my life, I am proud of myself and of my courage, that bravery that has never left me, even when I thought I was failing and that I did not have any more reason for hope.

To be fully honest, it has not been easy to share my recent experience with you right now, as it is still fresh and vivid in my mind, but I thought I should talk about it to make you feel less alone and to encourage you to keep fighting.

Holding hands — Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

You are not weak if you suffer from mental illness. And you are not a loser if you ask for help. You are more special and unique than you think. Trust me, you would not be anxious if you did not have that deep perception of things. Panic would not suck your energy and your every breath if you were not so perfectionist and considerate. And depression would not destroy you if you were not the sensitive human being that you are.

Because, whether you realize it or not, you are incredible and you are capable of everything you want!

Do not lose that faith, never ever! As it will be what will give you the strength to move on and what will make you believe in yourself again, when you least expect it. And that is exactly what happened to me.

I hope that my story would help you to see a glimmer of light in that dark room you have been hiding. Remember, you are stronger than you think. Never doubt that.

Mental Health — Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels

WHAT DO YOU DRESS FOR?

Posted on 14/04/202111/04/2021 by Coach Adele

Do you dress to be noticed? You like to be in the spotlight when everybody stares at you with that typical expression of envy or perhaps of genuine admiration on their face. It makes you feel unique, strong, powerful.

Or, by contrast, do you dress in a certain way to avoid people’s judgment and any sort of negative comment? Gossip puts pressure on you, making you nervous and uncomfortable.

Either way, your style reveals a lot about your personality, combined with your posture and body language. However, sometimes the clothes you wear become a proper shield that protects you from external factors, hiding your real identity or making it more acceptable by society or even by yourself.

When I was younger, I went through a huge variety of different styles, hair colours and haircuts, all concomitantly with my emotional state of that moment.

There was a part of me constantly seeking validation, and another one that could not tolerate any form of criticism and assumptions at all.

This has made me suffer a lot, with my two personalities always contradictory between each other, not knowing who I had to listen to and which belief I should have gotten rid of.

Photo by **Masha Raymers** from **Pexels**

In both cases, I was not being myself. I was just living my life, making my own choices based on other people’s opinions and stereotypes.

Have you ever heard of Compulsive Approval-Seeking? A compulsive approval-seeking behaviour is generated by a low self-esteem. This sense of inferiority arises from many factors. Some relate to your personality, while others stem from external influences such as your upbringing, cultural experiences, education, and work life.

In my 13, when I was at Secondary School, I knew that to be popular and to be accepted by my school mates I had to wear make-up, a new pair of Adidas Gazzelle and the latest fashion trends, to not forget the unmissable leather jacket that everyone used to have.

The concept of ‘dress to be appreciated’, with the passing of time, became unconsciously a real belief in my mind, influencing my persona, my behaviours and my whole life.

As wrong as it could be, I have always thought that I had to look nice for others first, rather than for myself, and that I had to keep up with the role models proposed by TV, magazines and by mass media in order to be fully integrated into the social system, an altogether nonsensical concept!

It took me more than 15 years before realising that I did not even know who I was, what I like and who I wanted to be. Imagine the massive impact that society has on people’s lifestyle and mental health!

But I am not here to talk about myself.

I am here to talk about you, instead, as I would like to help you, through my own experience, to find your own identity, in order to increase your level of confidence and self-esteem. Thus, you will have a better understanding of what you are passionate about, what is that makes you feel good, and what does your dream life look like.

While reading this article, I would like you to take some time to fully focus on the clothes you are currently wearing.

Does your outfit reflect your personality? Or is it based on the influence of someone else’s preferences, social media, and more generically, of the social environment?

Be honest with yourself, though.

I want you to look at that mirror, wondering if you really think you know that woman in front of you. Is she familiar to you? Or is she a perfect stranger?

Photo by **Ismael Sanchez** from **Pexels**

You, and only you can know the answer.

Most people see fashion as something trivial that does not determine someone’s personality, but today I want to dispel a myth, as it is the exact opposite.

Sometimes the most extravagant minds dress flashy to get attention as seeking constant validations. They are not confident enough within themselves, so they need approval from others.

Occasionally, if you are shy, you would prefer to be reserved, not showing a lot about yourself, keeping a more neutral style that could make you feel comfortable and less under pressure.

But, let me tell you something. In both cases, you would not be happy as you would not be real. You would suffer inwardly as you won’t be free to express who you are as too scared and affected by people’s judgments.

Therefore, the moral of this story is still the same: get to know your nature and learn how to give yourself the right values that you deserve. No one else will do it for you.

If you do not love yourself first, you will keep waiting for someone to compliment you with the usual ‘useless flatteries’ that you have been hearing for ages.

Nice words are only a rebound from a sense of emptiness that depends nothing but on yourself.

THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

Posted on 07/04/202105/04/2021 by Coach Adele

So often we read and hear coaches and public speakers talking about success and the importance of being successful in life.

But what is your definition of success? And what are your feelings and the first thoughts that come up to your mind when you encounter this word and start visualising your personal goals?

I have always thought that, to be successful, I had to be physically attractive, cool and friendly enough to be the one that everyone wants to hang out with, but also smart and educated to make my parents proud of me for my good marks at school and my achievements in my career.

I have always felt the need to prove to myself and to others that I was capable and good at something, most probably because of my own weaknesses and insecurities. Long story short, I ended up believing that being good was not enough anymore, and that, instead, I had to be exceptional to guarantee a prosperous future, not only for myself, but also for my family.

Coming from a humble background, I have had to fight for my dreams. I have had to give up many things, thus I became money-oriented as a consequence of it.

The fact is that we live in a society that constantly confronts us with a harsh reality that makes us believe that we have to be always on top, like some sort of robots that should just produce and consume.

Surely, a wealthy lifestyle makes you live better, but is this really what would make you happy? Is it what you want?

It took me a while to realise that money is not everything, and that my own happiness does not depend on my monthly income and on how much I have in my saving accounts.

Life is much more valuable than that, and so are you.

And if you invest your time focusing exclusively on your future, you will end up being perpetually unsatisfied and unhappy. This will lead you to experience stress and anxiety.

And what for? Is it really worthy if you then become unable to enjoy the present moment?

You Matter — Photo by Elly Fairytale and Olya Kobruseva from Pexels

Why am I talking about this right now and isn’t this principle in contradiction with most models of reality and concepts that we get every day from society?

Well, I am not saying that you should settle down and stop setting goals. It’s a great thing to be driven, trust me.

What I am trying to do instead, is to encourage you to think about what really matters for yourself, focusing for a moment on your scale of values.

What is more important for you? It may be love, it may be your health, or either your career progression or your family. Only you should know the answer to this question.

If you don’t, it might be that at some point in your life, you will be hit by a river in flood that will force you to have a break. And only then, when you won’t have any other excuse, you will disconnect from the rest of the world and concentrate on yourself, realising that what you have always considered crucial was not so essential as you thought.

Because, believe it or not, the more you will move forward, the less you will be able to celebrate your achievements if you do not enjoy the present, starting to appreciate the little things around you.

I have learned the hard way that my own happiness cannot be measured, and neither my personal life and my freedom. And that I can only be successful if I am happy within myself. Everything comes afterwards.

Thus, you will be able to define your meaning of success once you have a clear vision of your values, and then moving forward to your targets.

My advice to you is: be grateful for what you already have, live every second to the fullest because time does not go back, open up to other’s visions, but do not let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Because only you should know what is more relevant for you and who you want to be in the future in order to be successful.

Freedom — Photo by Nina Uhlíková from Pexels

10 Precious Tips On How To Have An Authentic Style Staying Within Budget

Posted on 30/03/202131/03/2021 by Coach Adele

Many of you may be wondering if it is possible to create a unique, first-class style with a low budget. My answer to your question is simple: anything you want is possible!

In the last few days, I have been reading many articles about similar topics, just to be aware of different points of view and to indulge my curiosity with this common issue, which is a proper dilemma to me: I want to be classy, but my budget does not allow me to.

First of all, clear your mind of any negative language that you might subconsciously use within yourself. It is vital that, from now on, you are going to believe that you can do anything you want, as you have an incredible power: you are responsible for your own choices and for your life, and you are in control of it.

Now, let’s move on to our list of useful tips!

The first suggestion I am going to share with you, which is the most important to me is:

Have an objective and a role model, someone you are fascinated by

10 tips - 2 — Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

What is your goal? You want luxury and a wealthy lifestyle but you work in a hotel and all you can do is just dream when you are assisting your guests at the check-in. Buls**t!

If you have a clear target and a picture of who you want to be, find a role model who you can be inspired by, and you will have that image stuck in your head that will help you to gain more confidence along your path.

I have always been fascinated by women in business with character and strong personalities, wearing their monochromatic and minimal suits that I find incredibly sexy and charming. I honestly do not focus on only one model, as there are so many examples of great women in history and contemporary figures, that I have at least one mentor in each environment.

Regardless, to avoid dwelling too much on the details, this is just for you to understand the importance of setting goals, having a vision and be surrounded by inspiring people, not only in this specific circumstance but also in every part of everyday life.

Once you know what you want to achieve and you keep the end goal in mind, the rest will just kind of fall into place in a natural way.

Now, what you should do before venturing into the beauty of fashion is:

2. Embark on a deep digital journey into the top trends and the latest designs

10 Tips - 3 — Photo by Dziana Hasanbekava from Pexels

You must always be on top of the trends, being fully aware of what is in the market and what are the new proposals, colours of the upcoming season, fabrics etc.

I would suggest you to spend some time reading fashion magazines or simply having a deeper look at their websites. For instance, I am a great fan of Vogue and Conde Nast (it is no coincidence that two of the strongest women in business of which I am inspired by are Franca Sozzani and Anna Wintour. Both journalists and editor-in-chief of Vogue).

Educate yourself, so that you will become familiar with the world of fashion and its incredible history. This will also help you to increase your ideas and creativity.

Once you know what to look for, you are going to focus on the financial aspect of the whole shopping adventure.

To do this:

3. Set up a separate Saving Pot in your current Bank Account

You have absolutely no intention of spending more than how much you set out to previously, so ease up on your self-judgement and do as you promised yourself!

I know it is not always easy to resist the temptation of buying that stunning dress in the window that you are already dreaming of wearing on your next date, but this is also a great opportunity to prove yourself that you know how to control your impulses!

Thus, make a financial plan, set a budget and stick to it! It is not difficult to do it, and I am sure most of you have an online mobile banking app within your Bank Account. I have multiple pots that I use on several occasions. It takes literally a few seconds to create a new savings pot, so that you will be always aware of your expenses.

4. Buy clearance clothing or second hands accessories

10 Tips - 5 — Photo by collis from Pexels

I believe most of you may be thinking right now: how can I be on top of the latest trends if I purchase the inventories of the previous season? Well, you can if you follow my previous advice, but first of all, you must have good taste in fashion, and I am sure you do!

In my 28 years, I do not remember even once where I purchased an item belonging to the new arrivals. Or if I did, it was very rare.

I have always been limited on budget and I could not afford the luxury brands, therefore my only chance was to wait for the sales to start!

In my opinion, it is much better to buy good quality fabrics from the clearance clothing sections, rather than spending less in cheaper brands like Primark, Boohoo, Missguided, etc.

You could also have a look at TK Maxx (you can find plenty of good deals there), or explore websites like Wardow and Zalando (I have purchased some trendy handbags there too, and I was quite happy with their service) or buy second-hand garments (be careful though before trusting a seller, it is important that you will go through their history and reviews first, paying full attention to every single detail of each item).

I personally do not like online shopping when it is relating to clothes that I have not tried yet, as my body shape is uncommon (and I am sure most of you, like me, might have different sizes from your waist to your bust), therefore I prefer to try each garment in the shop first, and then completing the whole shopping process though the official websites or, occasionally, on e-Bay for a cheaper price.

It is the same when it is relating shoes, as patterns might not always fit properly.

But as for the rest, you can give free rein to your creativity with the accessories, buying what you like the most online.

Another very important bit of advice that I would like you to consider is:

5. Make a list of 4 – 6 outfits that you are planning to create

10 Tips - 6 — Photo by Lum3n from Pexels

This will also include a basic idea of the main colours of your clothes. Put as much detail as possible; it will help you to avoid wasting time with a vague destination or vision of what you are going to wear and who you are going to be on that particular scenario.

Fashion is an incredible world, as it gives you the freedom to be yourself, expressing your personality in a thousand different ways.

And if you have a proper plan, setting a list will help you a lot with developing organisational skills that you did not even think you could have, which you will find extremely useful on many different occasions in the future.

You will become faster in making decisions, very selective, and I would say, extraordinarily exclusive, which are also a few essential qualities that you should have when it is relating to fashion.

Once you have a proper scheme, you will be ready for the following step:

6. Start by shopping for the main items of clothing first, then the accessories

10 Tips - 11 — Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels

Focus on your first outfit by selecting the main garments first. The rest will come later on.

Let’s just say that you are going to purchase an egyptian blue dress. You may want to combine an ivory or a cream jacket with it, and then a gold Swarovski belt, same as your gold pouch and your glamour 10cm court heels that will leave everyone breathless.

You will realise how naturally the whole process of styling will come to you, accessory by accessory, detail by detail.

By contrast, if you will start buying the jewellery, then the bag, then the hat, you will end up in a sea of confusion, losing your direction completely.

7. Maintain a natural taste when selecting the fabrics

10 Tips - 8 — Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels

Monochromatic colours are always the best way to start creating a unique outfit, because of their single base hue with their elegant shades and tones, achieved by the use of a white tint.

Not only they are very easy to be combined with different fabrics and colours, but they also offer you the chance to play with only a few quality garments, exchanging them multiple times, without having to invest a huge amount of money on clothing.

This is what really defines you as a creative and brilliant stylist, making you stand out from your competitors.

Keeping a neutral style will also give a positive image of you as a classy and elegant woman, who does not need to show off to be attractive, falling into vulgarity.

8. Dress for your body shape, be aware of your proportions

10 Tips - 9 — Photo by Nappy from Pexels

Let’s now have a deeper look at the morphological aspect.

We all know we have a unique body shape and proportions. We can only dream of wearing a pair of flared jeans like the perfect Charlie’s Angels if, in real life, we are short and tiny like Kylie Minogue. Let’s be honest!

However, this is not the end of the world as, luckily, we always keep a varied quantity of high heels in our walk-in closet.

The only detail that makes the difference is how you wear what you love, and obviously, your posture.

Do not go for a long trench coat if it reaches your ankles and you are only 5’2 (I made this mistakes several times, as I was not perfectly aware of how proportions work; I thought I was looking cool, when instead I was far from it!).

You should look at yourself as cut into thirds from your shoulders to your feet. You want either one third on top and two thirds on the bottom (let’s suppose you are wearing a shirt and a trouser) or two thirds on top and one third on bottom. Dividing yourself in half would be just wrong!

And in regards to fitting, never wear a garment which is too big or too small! That would not make you look more stylish. The more volume your clothes have, the skinnier you will appear if you are underweight. And the tighter you will dress, the more you will show your extra pounds, looking like a sausage that is going to explode!

9. Do not mix many different designs and prints or silver with gold

Your goal is to look as neutral as possible. You are a professional, you cannot afford to give a wrong impression of yourself, turning into trash.

More than two fabrics or textures in an outfit would just be too much, not to mention the offensive habit of combining different designs together – do not mix a floral shirt with striped trousers…It would just be like a poke in the eyes! All you want is to be unique by creating an authentic style that will represent your personality with class and elegance…and gold with silver would simply destroy this concept!

Although accessories are the final touch to make you look perfect and impeccable, this does not mean they are the least important, and you want to make sure they are paired correctly.

Remember, little details can make a huge difference; it is very easy to ruin your reputation because of an insignificant mistake.

And now that we are coming to the end of this long, but hopefully helpful article, I would like to dedicate the final session to women’s unconditional love for shoes and heels: the higher they are, the less comfortable they will be!

10: Hence, forget about high heels if you cannot walk naturally with them

Confident women show their ease in every occasion, especially when walking.

You want to be comfortable and sexy, thus make sure not to be a wader in trouble while trying to keep the balance!

It is much better to wear a shorter heel, rather than looking ridiculous or clumsy.

In my opinion, the ideal height should be 6 cm, maximum 10, without a plateau.

Leave your ballerina pumps and loafers on the back burner, lock it and throw the key away! Flat shoes are not as beneficial as you think. They are likely to cause back pain and vertebral column problems.

You should always be loyal to your 2 cm walking shoes, if you want to carry them with you while on public transports or after a long night out dancing.

Remember: fashion is an art but your health should always come first, no matter what.

Before you leave…

Do not wear something because it is trendy. Never run with the crowd trying to be like anybody else. Seek inspiration by identifying your role models, educate yourself through continuous research of fashion, but do not let it own you!

I assume you already know who you are and what you want to achieve in the future. And if you are still not sure about it, just the fact that you are here right now, reading this article, looking for support and advice is the proof that you have already made an important choice in your life: you want to stand out from the pack!

10 Tips - 10 — Photo by Moose Photos from Pexels

You are a great woman, you are ambitious, you have character.

Bring that grit out with class and determination, dress chic but authentically.

Now, wear that confidence and get ready to take on the world!

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COLOURS

Posted on 24/03/202131/03/2021 by Coach Adele

The power of human brain is boundless. It is like a vast machine, the most complicated one, perpetually in motion, that never fails to surprise us with its continuous discoveries and new incredible shades we did not even glimpsed a hint of before.

And it is right in this scenario that psychology makes its own appearance, becoming a real protagonist of our lives; it is everywhere, in any context and circumstance, behind the meaning of every action, feeling and human behaviour.

Talking about fashion – because this is why you came across my blog today, I would like to introduce you to a deeper nuance that, most likely, you have not considered before, while wearing your favourite dress or suit, that I personally find truly fascinating: the psychology of colours.

I know it may seem bizarre, but colours are clearly part of us; they are our companions of adventures.

Every day, they take us on a new journey, from our 8 hours shift at work to our night out with our friends or partner; and then they leave us in the comfort of our living room where, while watching our favourite movie, we enjoy our glass of wine before going to sleep.

As you can imagine, each colour has its own history, its origin and its why.

Colours have a spirit, a soul which embodies unmistakable emotions.

Most of the times, when we wear a garment of a specific colour, we assume it is the right one for us, because of the harmonic combination with our skin tone, eyes and hair shape, but we do not actually wonder what is that really makes that colour so special and unique, what message it is trying to communicate, and what is the best occasion for which that colour is suitable.

In my 28, I have worn black too often to start getting sickened by it, since not a long time ago, during my studies of fashion and styling, I have discovered the incredible relations with psychology and people personalities that it contains.

Let’s now start to make a more accurate analysis of this thematic!

I promise, I will reveal you all the secrets I know behind each colour (well, not all of them as there are countless tones generated by the mix between primary, secondary and tertiary colours* – we will embrace the most important ones or, at least the colours we tend to use the most every season), making this journey into fashion even more tempting and exciting.

*Primary Colours: blue, red and yellow.

Secondary Colours are those created by the combination of the Primary ones. Tertiary Colours, instead, are the result of the mix between the Primary and the Secondary ones.

Because I have just mentioned my obsession with black, I will begin with it:

Black

POC - 4 — Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

For those who have never thought about it, besides its reducing effects (very useful if you are overweight), black has got a mysterious and enigmatic characteristic.

It represents the absence of light, and therefore it is associated with the night and anything that is hidden.

Dressing in black may indicate that the wearer is feeling lonely and isolated; perhaps someone who is suffering of depression, thus unable to communicate with people or having a social life.

In intimate clothing, black represents a lack of confidence in ability to relate to others, keeping feelings hidden or secretly wanting to be like someone else.

Isn’t it absurd?

Thinking about my adolescence and my time in High School, I may have been very frustrated to be dressing like a punk with my inimitable outfit – all black – and my half-shaved head (I still remember that hairstyle and my mother’s reaction when she first saw me coming back home like that!).

All kidding aside and no offence to Punks (I will always have a thing for Punk style), I still have a huge variety of black garments in my wardrobe, but I do not really define myself as an antisocial.

Grey

Although grey is an inconspicuous colour, it can also symbolise success, stability, inspiration and creativity. It is a real expression of class, elegance and respect, but it can also represent grief in the past or old age.

POC - 5 — Photo by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

White

Open to the surrounding energy, white has always communicated a feeling of purity and cleanliness. Bear in mind that it has an enlarging effect, therefore many people try to avoid it as it can expand figures. It can build trust and approachability.

In underwear, white is a conventional colour as it portrays innocence.

Red

POC - 6 — Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Red is a high-energy colour, especially if worn in darker tones. It gives a feeling of strength and personal power.

Dressing in red on the upper body conveys a sense of being daring, bold, willing to be adventurous. Be careful though! A livelier red might indicate that the wearer is unpredictable and impulsive, without much forethought when it relates to what she wants!

In lingerie, red expresses pleasure and a free and passionate sexuality without any form of inhibitions or limitations.

Orange

Orange is the ideal colour to be worn on vacation, and therefore, less indicate in business environments, where serious responsibilities are required.

However, it is a very optimistic colour that surely gives confidence to the wearer, representing transition, exchange of ideas and desire for renewal.

Because of its carefree disposition, in lingerie it tends to show a release of sexual tensions, preparing the wearer to enjoy a balanced, healthy and fun sex life.

It is definitely recommended in pyjamas or in bed sheets to women who have difficulties becoming pregnant and are more anxious or under pressure.

Yellow

POC - 8 — Photo by Oleg Magni from Pexels

Talking about positive colours, yellow truly is one of those.

It communicates that the wearer is currently experiencing something new, an exceptional event in life or psychological freedom.

It resonates with the mental plane and it can be very helpful when dealing with a new project or goal.

A woman who dresses in yellow underwear may be going through a phase in personal relationships, either emotional or sexual, guided primarily by her thoughts and clearly able to choose what she wants and what suits her better.

Violet

POC - 9 — Photo by Anni Roenkae from Pexels

Violet is a mystic and religious colour, especially in deeper and purple tones. It also represents asexuality, as it is preferred by the elderly, children, pregnant women and the ones who practice chastity.

It is the colour of the disconnection with the material, therefore it is not advisable if you are suffering of depression, as it can cause feelings of isolation and overactive imagination.

This can also be reflected in lingerie, representing the wearer as someone who idealises images of people and fantasies not met in reality.

Pink

As you can imagine, pink is a soft, delicate and extremely feminine colour, thus preferably used in clothing from women. It communicates innocence and emotional immaturity if worn in an older age, representing a romantic and dreamy personality.

Dressing pink means that the wearer is looking for a long-term relationship or, ideally, for something more lasting than the usual one night stand.

Because of its delicate tones, pink also attracts men with an innate sense of protection and caring.

In lingerie, it is the ideal colour for women who prefer more affectionate and innocent sexual relationships, looking for a softer approach.

Earth colours

Earth colours are coffee, browns and nude tones. Usually worn when expressing the necessity of a deeper connection with ourselves, therefore those who favourite these tones are self-focused and not willing to attract attention from others.

It signifies a need to balance the energy of the physical body, a desire of connection with the earth, the more material and tangible.

A woman wearing coffee tones is usually focused on her career progression, possibly going through economic difficulties or in material need.

In lingerie, it represents a sense of disharmony between the emotional and the sexual body, therefore it is not recommended.

Green

Dark green defines a person of refined tastes, quiet and reserved.

In the 1800s, it was the colour used to label people who were considered insane.

However, as most of you may already know, it was re-evaluated and identified as Mental Health awareness’ symbol of excellence (the green ribbon).

This is also why a brighter or lighter green on the upper body reflects that the wearer is going through a healing process, when there is need for rest and time out, especially after a recent relationship break up. In this case, it can also signify that the wearer is not ready to start a new one.

Green underwear also indicates healing, either emotional, physical or sexual.

Turquoise

POC - 13 — Photo by Julie Aagaard from Pexels

It is a summer colour and the ideal one to be worn in sunny environments.

Thinking about turquoise, I am pretty sure most of you, like myself, may already sense a feeling of freshness and relaxation.

In underwear, it represents freedom and tranquillity. It is also a youthful colour.

Blue

POC - 14 — Photo by Johannes Plenio from Pexels

Blue conveys security, strength, and sometimes dominance. It is the colour or royalty and ideal for exercising authority. In general, a woman who dresses in blue clearly wants to be respected by others, as it is a colour of distinction, honour and justice.

It is the ideal one to be worn on special occasions, when an important announcement needs to be done and you want to be heard from people around you.

In underwear, it can communicate a feeling of peacefulness.

It is incredible thinking about the numerous unique facets hiding behind every single colour, so many that it would be impossible to go through each one of them.

It is really interesting though, trying to understand the meaning of things, the psychological aspect which is in every environment and in our everyday lives.

It is also funny how much fashion and colour can tell about ourselves, reflecting our personalities, our strengths and insecurities, as if we were an open book.

Have you ever thought about it?

I personally have not. However, when I came across this topic, I found it extremely fascinating, as it has completely changed my vision and concept about colours.

I hope after this article you won’t rush into a de-cluttering process, renewing your wardrobe because of all the notions you have just absorbed.

I would like just to remind you that the information provided in these paragraphs are completely generic and that it is not my intent to make any sort of assumption about your style, your taste of fashion and your favourite colours.

We are all different and unique in our freedom of expression of ourselves and our essence.

PSYCHOLOGY AND FASHION – ARE THEY LINKED?

Posted on 17/03/202131/03/2021 by Coach Adele

Have you ever thought about the impact that psychology has on people’s behaviours, habits, vision and values, and how it then reverberates completely throughout our everyday life?

And have you ever seen fashion as a sort of mirror that reflects our personalities, our past experiences and who we are today?

You have come across my blog right now probably because you like to go deeper and deeper, constantly looking for what is beneath the mainstream surface, a reason that could possibly explain why things are a certain way.

And that is why, through this article, I am inviting you to disconnect from the idea you have always had about fashion and style as ‘simple clothing and nothing else’, introducing you to a more complex concept of it: we are what we wear!

Believe it or not, the entire world of fashion is connected to psychology and people’s mental health more than you could have ever imagined.

Fashion is not only an art. It is the freedom of soul, a real expression of ourselves and our emotions.

How many times did you feel unique, powerful, desired and in the spotlight while proudly sporting the dress of your dreams, the one you always wanted to wear? Did you not experience excitement, good vibes, and a particular sense of power?

And how often did you hear people or magazines talking about the common and effective retail therapy? Which, as incorrect as it may be (in the medical and psychotherapeutic field it is not an actual therapy, and in addition to it, spending money and busy shops can be stressful at times), it has statistically proven to have a positive impact on our brain and personal well-being, as long as it does not lead to a compulsive buying disorder and you do not exceed on shopping.

But, what does exactly happen in our mind when we do something for ourselves simply to feel better within our consciousness? When we generate positive thoughts, our brain starts producing serotonin, creating a feeling of happiness, peace and calm. *

*For those who have never come across this before, Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and it is commonly known as a ‘happy hormone’, together with Dopamine (important part of the brain’s reward system), Oxytocin, the ‘love hormone’, and Endorphins (our body’s natural pain reliever).

By contrast, in the experience of anxiety and depression, we tend to dedicate less time looking after our wellness and our image, ending up not caring enough about our person, our body, and in the worst-case scenario, about our whole life.

Fashion & Psychology 3 — Photo by Francesca Zama from pexels

Have you ever awakened in the morning in the most absolute negativity? It’s a new day but you are impassive, and you feel completely apathetic, responding with inertia. And you get on with it, just because this is what you should do. But the truth is that deep down you know that the only thing you want is to be left in peace and to hibernate from the rest world.

Did it happen to you? Well, I guess so, at least once in your life.

And did you dress up on that occasion? Did you wear make-up? Did you tie up your hair, as usual?

I remember, when I was going through a breakdown a few years ago, I did not even take off my pyjamas, as I was so sick and depressed. Do you feel it is a justifiable reaction that we use to cope with that specific emotional state? And would you act in a similar manner under these circumstances?

I know some people have the ability to take life lightly, facing each challenge with an astonishing amount of courage and an enviable tenacity, like if it was another great opportunity to prove how brave and determined they are.

A striking example of this is one of my mother’s historical friends, an incredibly strong woman that has always wanted to get noticed for her eccentric and extravagant style, led by an extremely strong personality. She has been fighting against cancer for her whole life, travelling all over the world, looking for the right treatment and medication that could at least relieve the pain that she has been carrying on with her for all those years. Many times, she was told she would not make it or that she would have had just a couple of months left. However, I have not seen her even once without her long blond wig, her showy rings and accessories, complemented by her inevitable heavy make-up.

She is a real example and a role model to me, a great woman full of life that would fight against all odds to win each battle that might show up.

Following the theory of ‘looking good to feel good’ is advisable, not only when going through a tough time. It should be kept as a permanent state of mind instead, as a law that cannot be broken, no matter what. *

Fashion & Psychology - Looking Good to Feel Good — Photo by Sam Lion from Pexels

*In the COVID-19 pandemic, mental health professionals have been encouraging those working from home to make sure that they would have followed the same morning routines as usual (having a shower, getting dressed, wearing make-up, etc..) as to get ready for the day. It feels you with a sense of purpose with a natural state of preparedness and determination. This advice was not so people could look good for others, but an effective way to naturally feel good about themselves.

I would also recommend having a couple of strategic outfits in your wardrobe that can make you feel unique and powerful. You should save them for special occasions for when external factors are negatively affecting you, as if life was sending you messages that what you are doing at the moment is not quite right and you should acknowledge it. These strategic outfits will aid you in taking extra care of yourself, by empowering your emotional well-being and promoting your mental confidence.

But let’s now have a deeper look at how psychology reflects on human behaviours, posture and body language, and people’s style.

Have you ever noticed that more introverted people tend not to show much about themselves by keeping a basic and neutral style, generally hunching their shoulders inward, both when sitting and standing?

By contrast, confident personalities dress for success, looking impeccable most of the times through a unique attention to details. These people make eye contact when engaging a conversation with a pitch and distinct tone of voice, having a great posture and steady head.

As you can see, fashion plays a significant role in who we are and in our lifestyle.

You can tell many things by the way people dress, the way they act, by their unconscious attitudes, approaches and habits, even by the way they walk.

A brisk walking pace speaks volumes about our level of self-confidence. It shows determination and a high self-esteem, attracting those around us and spreading positive energy to the whole surrounding environment.

Thus, psychology holds immense power on our everyday lives, affecting who we are, our choices and our mental health.

A bit of simple advice I would like to give you today, is to avoid taking life too seriously.

Try to picture it as if it was a wardrobe. I am sure most of you might do a bit of de-cluttering from time to time, preparing for the season change or even just for emotional needs, organising clothes by getting rid of things you no longer need and replacing them with the latest trends. Why not trying to do the same with your own limiting beliefs, cleaning your mind from each negative thought that is preventing you from making your dreams come true and from becoming who you want to be?

If it is not your intention to live for the day, to not be overtaken by external events and circumstances, make sure you do the same with fashion: simplify, select your garments, be unique and dress every day to impress!

Posts by Coach Adele

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PSYCHOLOGY AND FASHION – ARE THEY LINKED?

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