Summer is upon us, and finally, after so long, you can sense a feeling of optimism in the air.
Restrictions have been eased, people are meeting up again and the weather is delighting us with amazing sunny days.
But how does this “going back to normal” translate to clothes?
As you can imagine, last year has been pretty challenging for the fashion industry – as for every other environment – with many changes and innovations, not only from a stylistic point of view, but also from a marketing perspective. The digital world has taken over, revolutionising entirely the international Fashion Weeks.
With the new ‘Work From Home’ routine, the loungewear has become the unexpected biggest trend of fashion 2020, together with a new proposal of fantastical fashion. Frothy dresses, mood-boosting prints and bright and soothing colours that take inspiration from natural elements have been selected with the aim of giving people a sense of hope and positivity.
“When the grey clouds disperse, we see the sunshine” says Pantone’s executive director, Leatrice Eiseman. And this is how the transformation from the Ultimate Grey evolves to a radiant yellow hue, Illuminating, protagonist of a new life after a tumultuous year. These two shades are usually paired together to convey a message of stability and unity.
Balmain & Versace
But what about the hot Pink Cosmos, which is one of the most popular colour trends of spring 2021, capturing the attention of everyone for the vitality that transmits? We have seen it literally everywhere, from the Grammy Awards red carpet to the Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. This colour has certainly stood out from the rest for his vibrant, uplifting and flirtatious touch.
Valentino – Dolce & Gabbana
Together with the brightest tones, designers have decided to readapt the use of Cherry Red – one of the major colour trends of Winter 2019 – to give a bit of romance to the upcoming season, combined with a dominant and fiery character, the ideal choice after the current uncertainty.
Many people have lost not only their main occupation during lockdown, but also their confidence and personal balance. Thus, the powerful presence of vivid colours this year, to communicate strength and courage to the wearer, combined with the use of Burnt Orange and Buttery Cream tones.
Ermanno Scervino & Lanvin
But, as every spring and summer season has its pastel shades, 2021 runways could not be more fresh and sparkling thanks to the careful search for relaxing nuances after the neon colours we saw earlier. This is why the fashion trends of the year end with a wide selection of green and blue, such as Mint, Aquamarine, Avocado, Pistachio, Seafoam, etc.
Ulla Johnson & Boss
Once again, the most prestigious designers like Versace, Alberta Ferretti, Armani, Boss, Ferragamo, Miu Miu, etc surprise us with their unique and refined creations, proposing on the catwalk something that reflects reality and contemporary society.
Style is not pure coincidence. As I mentioned in my previous articles, fashion is a mirror, it is a voice, the expression of modernity. You have to know how to interpret it to understand the message that trends release. And 2021 surely will be a memorable historic moment for all of us, not only because of a virus that has left a mark on our everyday lives, but also for the feelings and the energy that are conveyed to us by the entire world of fashion.
It has been already one year since the pandemic hit us, radically changing our way of being and our own lives. But, if you think about it, it seems yesterday when we were pestered by continuous news about Covid-19, first in China and then, gradually spreading all over the world.
Who would have predicted this virus would have affected us so dramatically?
It is incredible how negatively it has impacted not only the economy of the whole planet, but also human interactions and, not to mention about people’s mental health.
At times it felt like I was being run over by a train at full speed. And I am sure most of you might know what I am talking about.
Yes, I mean you, reading this article, hoping to find someone who has been going through the same storm as you are. Others some more, others some less, we have been all overwhelmed by this tragic event.
Many people have been made redundant, have lost family members and their loved ones, some have left the UK, moving back to their countries of origin, and so many couples have separated. In short, it has been a real catastrophe. And it is not over yet!
Photo by Markus Spiske from Pexels
But today, I would like to share my personal experience with you, and I hope this will help you to feel understood and that it will encourage you not to give up. Because I know it is not easy to cope with your own thoughts when it seems like everything is coming apart.
Till February 2021 I had the perfect life. I had a job that I loved, amazing friends and so many reasons to be happy. It was too great to be real. I still remember how often I closed my eyes, wondering if I was just dreaming of if it was all true, having to deal with anxiety since I was a kid.
But, apparently, my own wars were not over yet. Covid has invaded my personal balance, and it has been like a nightmare.
I was furloughed for 6 long months which – although not extremely hard at the very beginning – became a struggle with each passing day. All my traumas from the past came to a head when I had a panic attack on the tube. And so, anxiety knocked on my door once again, after so long, and I got ill.
It has been tough having to accept it, as I thought my mental illness was just a bad distant memory, but I was wrong. Because, believe it or not, if you are a sensitive person, you will always be predisposed to suffer from anxiety, even after years. There will be a single incident that will jog something loose in your mind, and it will easily get out of control.
I went back to work in the middle of my panic disorder for two months, before being furloughed again, and my frantic run towards an endless tunnel begun.
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood & Maisa Borges from Pexels
I was terrified of the thought of another lockdown alone in a foreign country. I needed my family, I could not cope with that alone, not at that time. Thus, I decided to go back home for a while, and so I booked the last flight to Italy before the borders were closed, and I stayed there for a while.
My fixed appointments with panic attacks kept recurring often, even if I kept hiding my feelings, pretending it was all good, lying not only to my parents and to my friends, but also to myself. And it was just then that I decided I had to do something to fight my own battles. I had to study the brain to have a better understanding of what was going on with my mind. I wanted to be able to solve my own problems, and to help other people struggling with the same illnesses one day.
And that is how Dressed From Within was born, combining my passion for fashion and my personal experiences with psychology and my natural tendency to support those in need.
Over a three month period, I took a course in Fashion and Styling and another one in Life Coaching, before immersing myself in the fascinating world of Neuro Linguistic Programming, and then I started to work on my website. In the meanwhile, a new vacancy as a Team Leader on my current job was opened, and I thought I should go for it.
Once again, I needed a big change, and I had to face my own fears to survive and to be able to live again.
I was still on furlough when I decided I had to come back to London, as I felt every day more insecure and fragile, despite everything I was doing to cope with anxiety and all my personal goals.
And it was just when I set foot into the underground again that I realised I was completely out of control and that I needed some help. Social anxiety is like an impetuous shadow that follows you everywhere you go when you leave your place and you are surrounded by people. Those suffering from the same illness know what I am talking about. And it is terrible because it leads you to isolate yourself from social contexts, no matter how friendly you are and how much you love human interactions. It changes your personality completely, making you vulnerable and depressed.
And this is how I started to feel at some point. I was tired, frustrated, hopeless. I had no more strength to fight as the more I was trying to cope with my anxiety, the more I was hit by panic attacks. I was about to give up on my dreams, on my goals and on my project. I felt like my studies were not helping me as I hoped they would.
Photo by Nandhu Kumar from Pexels
Thus, one day I convinced myself that I had to ask for help, and so I did. And I will never regret my choice, as it made me realise that I am not alone and that I have all the resources I need to face my own wars.
On the first of April 2021, I launched my own business as an Image Consultant and Empowerment Coach, and shortly after, I got the incredible news that I passed that job interview and I got promoted as a Team Leader at my current workplace. I would be lying if I told you that the fact that I had to go back to work did not scare me. Till a couple of weeks ago, I was not even able to take the tube due to panic disorders.
But I did go to the office on my first day and I was still panicking the first week, that I thought I would not pull it off, as I could barely breathe, and I was struggling to cope with those chronic stomach cramps.
And now I am here, happier than ever to have won one of the most traumatic battles of my life, I am proud of myself and of my courage, that bravery that has never left me, even when I thought I was failing and that I did not have any more reason for hope.
To be fully honest, it has not been easy to share my recent experience with you right now, as it is still fresh and vivid in my mind, but I thought I should talk about it to make you feel less alone and to encourage you to keep fighting.
Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels
You are not weak if you suffer from mental illness. And you are not a loser if you ask for help. You are more special and unique than you think. Trust me, you would not be anxious if you did not have that deep perception of things. Panic would not suck your energy and your every breath if you were not so perfectionist and considerate. And depression would not destroy you if you were not the sensitive human being that you are.
Because, whether you realize it or not, you are incredible and you are capable of everything you want!
Do not lose that faith, never ever! As it will be what will give you the strength to move on and what will make you believe in yourself again, when you least expect it. And that is exactly what happened to me.
I hope that my story would help you to see a glimmer of light in that dark room you have been hiding. Remember, you are stronger than you think. Never doubt that.
Do you dress to be noticed? You like to be in the spotlight when everybody stares at you with that typical expression of envy or perhaps of genuine admiration on their face. It makes you feel unique, strong, powerful.
Or, by contrast, do you dress in a certain way to avoid people’s judgment and any sort of negative comment? Gossip puts pressure on you, making you nervous and uncomfortable.
Either way, your style reveals a lot about your personality, combined with your posture and body language. However, sometimes the clothes you wear become a proper shield that protects you from external factors, hiding your real identity or making it more acceptable by society or even by yourself.
When I was younger, I went through a huge variety of different styles, hair colours and haircuts, all concomitantly with my emotional state of that moment.
There was a part of me constantly seeking validation, and another one that could not tolerate any form of criticism and assumptionsat all.
This has made me suffer a lot, with my two personalities always contradictory between each other, not knowing who I had to listen to and which belief I should have gotten rid of.
In both cases, I was not being myself. I was just living my life, making my own choices based on other people’s opinionsand stereotypes.
Have you ever heard of Compulsive Approval-Seeking? A compulsive approval-seeking behaviour is generated by a low self-esteem. This sense of inferiority arises from many factors. Some relate to your personality, while others stem from external influences such as your upbringing, cultural experiences, education, and work life.
In my 13, when I was at Secondary School, I knew that to be popular and to be accepted by my school mates I had to wear make-up, a new pair of Adidas Gazzelle and the latest fashion trends, to not forget the unmissable leather jacket that everyone used to have.
The concept of ‘dress to be appreciated’, with the passing of time, became unconsciously a real belief in my mind, influencing my persona, my behaviours and my whole life.
As wrong as it could be, I have always thought that I had to look nice for others first, rather than for myself, and that I had to keep up with the role models proposed by TV, magazines and by mass media in order to be fully integrated into the social system, an altogether nonsensical concept!
It took me more than 15 years before realising that I did not even know who I was, what I like and who I wanted to be. Imagine the massive impact that society has on people’s lifestyle and mental health!
But I am not here to talk about myself.
I am here to talk about you, instead, as I would like to help you, through my own experience, to find your own identity, in order to increase your level of confidence and self-esteem. Thus, you will have a better understanding of what you are passionate about, what is that makes you feel good, and what does your dream life look like.
While reading this article, I would like you to take some time to fully focus on the clothes you are currently wearing.
Does your outfit reflect your personality? Or is it based on the influence of someone else’s preferences, social media, and more generically, of the social environment?
Be honest with yourself, though.
I want you to look at that mirror, wondering if you really think you know that woman in front of you. Is she familiar to you? Or is she a perfect stranger?
Most people see fashion as something trivial that does not determine someone’s personality, but today I want to dispel a myth, as it is the exact opposite.
Sometimes the most extravagant minds dress flashy to get attention as seeking constant validations. They are not confident enough within themselves, so they need approval from others.
Occasionally, if you are shy, you would prefer to be reserved, not showing a lot about yourself, keeping a more neutral style that could make you feel comfortable and less under pressure.
But, let me tell you something. In both cases, you would not be happy as you would not be real. You would suffer inwardly as you won’t be free to express who you are as too scared and affected by people’s judgments.
Therefore, the moral of this story is still the same: get to know your nature and learn how to give yourself the right values that you deserve. No one else will do it for you.
If you do not love yourself first, you will keep waiting for someone to compliment you with the usual ‘useless flatteries’ that you have been hearing for ages.
Nice words are only a rebound from a sense of emptiness that depends nothing but on yourself.
So often we read and hear coaches and public speakers talking about success and the importance of being successful in life.
But what is your definition of success? And what are your feelings and the first thoughts that come up to your mind when you encounter this word and start visualising your personal goals?
I have always thought that, to be successful, I had to be physically attractive, cool and friendly enough to be the one that everyone wants to hang out with, but also smart and educated to make my parents proud of me for my good marks at school and my achievements in my career.
I have always felt the need to prove to myself and to others that I was capable and good at something, most probably because of my own weaknesses and insecurities. Long story short, I ended up believing that being good was not enough anymore, and that, instead, I had to be exceptional to guarantee a prosperous future, not only for myself, but also for my family.
Coming from a humble background, I have had to fight for my dreams. I have had to give up many things, thus I became money-oriented as a consequence of it.
The fact is that we live in a society that constantly confronts us with a harsh reality that makes us believe that we have to be always on top, like some sort of robots that should just produce and consume.
Surely, a wealthy lifestyle makes you live better, but is this really what would make you happy? Is it what you want?
It took me a while to realise that money is not everything, and that my own happiness does not depend on my monthly income and on how much I have in my saving accounts.
Life is much more valuable than that, and so are you.
And if you invest your time focusing exclusively on your future, you will end up being perpetually unsatisfied and unhappy. This will lead you to experience stress and anxiety.
And what for? Is it really worthy if you then become unable to enjoy the present moment?
Photo by Elly Fairytale and Olya Kobruseva from Pexels
Why am I talking about this right now and isn’t this principle in contradiction with most models of reality and concepts that we get every day from society?
Well, I am not saying that you should settle down and stop setting goals. It’s a great thing to be driven, trust me.
What I am trying to do instead, is to encourage you to think about what really matters for yourself, focusing for a moment on your scale of values.
What is more important for you? It may be love, it may be your health, or either your career progression or your family. Only you should know the answer to this question.
If you don’t, it might be that at some point in your life, you will be hit by a river in flood that will force you to have a break. And only then, when you won’t have any other excuse, you will disconnect from the rest of the world and concentrate on yourself, realising that what you have always considered crucial was not so essential as you thought.
Because, believe it or not, the more you will move forward, the less you will be able to celebrate your achievements if you do not enjoy the present, starting to appreciate the little things around you.
I have learned the hard way that my own happiness cannot be measured, and neither my personal life and my freedom. And that I can only be successful if I am happy within myself. Everything comes afterwards.
Thus, you will be able to define your meaning of success once you have a clear vision of your values, and then moving forward to your targets.
My advice to you is: be grateful for what you already have, live every second to the fullest because time does not go back, open up to other’s visions, but do not let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Because only you should know what is more relevant for you and who you want to be in the future in order to be successful.
